Writing a Book: An Experience Comparable to Childbirth

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Reflecting on my journey as an author, I realized it has been nine months since I signed my book deal. This timeframe parallels the gestational period of pregnancy, making it quite fitting to view this book as my fourth child. The experience has been a mix of stress, excitement, anxiety, and joy—much like the range of emotions that accompany bringing a new life into the world. Here’s how the process of publishing a book resembles having a baby:

1. Unexpected Realities: I had anticipated that writing and publishing a book would be a transformative experience that would elevate me into a realm of intellectual euphoria. Much like how I envisioned pregnancy, I expected a rush of joy and maternal instincts. Instead, I found myself grappling with the challenges of both—overwhelmed by discomfort during pregnancy and criticized during book readings. The reality is far from the idealized vision.
2. Obsessive Focus: In the early days with my newborn, I inundated friends and family with updates, photos, and endless chatter about my child. Now, the book has taken center stage in my life, and it seems that my conversations have shifted to focus solely on this project. I often wonder if anyone remembers the topics I used to write about before this literary endeavor.
3. Unwanted Opinions: Much like unsolicited advice on parenting, I receive feedback about my book that I didn’t ask for. Recently, a stranger named Tom from Idaho reached out to critique my choice of outfit for a recent television appearance. Just like I never sought opinions on my parenting decisions or my approach to feeding, I find these comments about my writing equally unnecessary.
4. Using the “Baby” Excuse: When you have a new baby, a certain haze envelops you, and everyone seems to understand your distracted state. I find myself in a similar fog now, where my “baby” is my book, and the challenges of managing it can be just as consuming as caring for a newborn.
5. Experiencing Lows: The lows of writing can be disheartening, akin to the disappointment of a poorly attended book signing. Imagine sitting at a table with only one attendee—an experience that feels worse than the most embarrassing moments of parenthood. It’s a stark reminder that not every effort is met with enthusiasm.
6. Experiencing Highs: Just as the sleepless nights and crying fits of early parenthood are counterbalanced by moments of pure joy, my writing journey has its highs. After a challenging event in Concord, New Hampshire, the subsequent readings in Warwick, Rhode Island, and Burlington, Massachusetts, were exhilarating. Those moments of triumph make the struggles worthwhile.
7. The Defining Moment: For parents, it’s often the first smile from their child that encapsulates the joy of parenthood. In my case, it was the thrilling news that my book made it to next week’s New York Times Best Seller list. That moment was pure elation—a milestone that I couldn’t have achieved without the unwavering support of those around me.

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In summary, the journey of writing a book is much like the experience of having a baby—filled with unexpected challenges, obsessive focus, unsolicited advice, and moments of joy that remind you why you embarked on this journey in the first place.