15 Aspirations for New Parents

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As a medical professional, I often reflect on the experiences of new parents. I have acquaintances who are about to embark on their journey of parenthood. They are wonderful individuals and thankfully, they’re not falling into the trap of thinking they know everything beforehand, as many do. Here are some hopes I wish for them as they navigate this exciting yet challenging time:

1. I hope your child develops a strong aversion to shows like Caillou. While it might be optimistic to wish for them to dislike both Caillou and Max and Ruby, it’s certainly the most ideal outcome.
2. I wish for your baby to discover a comforting item that helps soothe them—a sort of “mute button” such as a pacifier or a specific toy. Ideally, this item should be replaceable and not something as personal as your body. (For example, my older son had a pacifier and a beloved blanket he named Chachi, after a certain character).
3. I hope that in the realm of sleepless nights, car rides, potty training challenges, and diaper changes, you only have to face one of these hurdles with your child. Every baby tends to have that one particular issue they despise, and it’s rare to escape unscathed.
4. I hope your baby chooses to be carried in the way you prefer, whether that be in a bucket, sling, or ergonomic carrier—without demanding to sleep in those same positions.
5. I hope you steer clear of Pinterest during this time; there’s a time and a place for everything, and this certainly isn’t it.
6. I hope you manage to create lists without repeating items, only to then tell your partner you didn’t.
7. I hope you remember that television didn’t ruin your childhood and it won’t ruin your child either. If you’re concerned it might, I hope your friends are understanding and supportive.
8. I hope you avoid meeting a self-proclaimed parenting expert in the women’s lounge who insists that their method is the only correct approach. Just remember, what works for one child may not work for yours.
9. I hope you find at least one supportive friend to confide in during this time, whether from a message board, high school, or even a parenting class. I didn’t end up with the supportive group I imagined; instead, my lifeline was my high school best friend and a lactation consultant named Linda. They allowed me to express my anxieties and provided much-needed reassurance.
10. I hope someone adequately prepares you for the post-birth experience, including the reality of “mesh underwear” and the need for ample padding.
11. I hope your partner is a reliable source of support, even if that simply means knowing when to step back or bring you food.
12. I hope you receive the understanding and leniency you need from those around you without having to resort to pleading for it.
13. I hope you can avoid the competitive spirit that some mothers may try to foster. Understand that they may be struggling just as much as you are.
14. I hope you get a realistic perspective on what your “post-baby body” will look like and refrain from reading any articles that promise quick fixes. Remember, achieving the modeling standards often requires specific genetics and circumstances.
15. Most importantly, I hope you realize what took me far too long to understand: you are inherently equipped to be your baby’s parent. Your instincts are likely reliable, and all your baby truly desires is you—dark circles under your eyes and all, along with your myriad of questions and uncertainties about their well-being.

For more insights on family planning, you can explore helpful resources like the CDC’s page on infertility here, or check out some of our other posts, such as this one about home insemination kits.

In summary, the journey of parenthood is filled with both challenges and joys. Embrace it, lean on your support network, and remember that you are more capable than you might think.