Twenty-nine years ago, in a faraway land, I experienced a traumatic event that would haunt me for decades. Until recently, only a select few were aware of my ordeal. I was just a child at the time—terrified and overwhelmed—and chose not to report the incident. My instinct was to escape and erase the memory, but that proved to be an impossible task. Only through extensive therapy did I begin to reclaim my life from that painful night. Despite the progress, I remained silent.
My silence did not stem from fear of my assailant; I was fortunate to return home shortly after, free from the dread of encountering him again. Instead, I refrained from speaking out because I dreaded being labeled a victim. The thought of being seen as merely “the girl who was raped” was more unsettling than the assault itself. I witnessed the repercussions of such labels during my high school years and later in college: hushed conversations, furtive glances, and a sense of pity that I wished to avoid. I wanted to live without the stigma attached to my experience. I thought that if I acted as though nothing had occurred, then life would resume its normal course.
When allegations against a prominent figure like Bill Cosby emerged, it prompted questions about why some survivors took decades to come forward. This introspection made me realize that my own silence had inadvertently contributed to the culture surrounding sexual violence. By not speaking out, I allowed my assailant to evade accountability, possibly enabling further assaults. It creates a vicious cycle: silence perpetuates shame, and in turn, that shame silences others. It is imperative that we dismantle this stigma to promote a culture where survivors feel empowered to share their stories. Only then can we hope to see increased reporting and a significant shift in societal attitudes towards sexual violence.
Thus, twenty-nine years later, I am reclaiming my voice.
I am not defined by the trauma I endured. It is merely one memory among countless others that shape my identity. Please do not let that night overshadow who I am. To those who know me, remember that I am:
- A devoted mother
- A loving partner
- A dedicated attorney
- A supportive friend
- A cherished daughter
- A caring sister
- An enthusiastic aunt
- A passionate blogger
- A lover of cozy cardigans
- An unapologetic user of colorful language
- A hopeful cook, despite my kids’ picky eating habits
- An aspiring surfer
- A child sleep-training expert
- A struggling gardener
- A Pinterest enthusiast (albeit not always successful)
I embody all these facets of life, and I refuse to remain silent any longer.
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Summary
This piece reflects on the author’s journey from trauma to empowerment, emphasizing the importance of breaking the silence surrounding sexual violence. By sharing her experience, she seeks to challenge societal norms and encourage others to speak out. Resources for family planning and fertility support are also highlighted.
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