Updated: Dec. 21, 2020
Originally Published: Dec. 30, 2012
In contemporary discussions about relaxation techniques, “adult coloring books” have surfaced as a popular tool, featuring intricate illustrations often centered around sophisticated themes like nature or spirituality. The premise is simple: after enduring a chaotic day filled with unsolicited advice from strangers, multiple meltdowns in public spaces, and perhaps a diaper catastrophe in the grocery aisle, what better way to unwind than by engaging with a beautifully designed coloring book? With colored pencils in hand, you can transform tiny, detailed sections into vibrant art while attempting to ignore the lingering scent of baby formula mixed with old diapers.
I’ve decided to create a unique adult coloring book specifically tailored for new parents—illustrations designed to soothe your mind as you process the daily challenges of parenthood. Picture a tiny, wailing infant beside a sizable glass of wine and a marker that your pet just attempted to chew. Try not to gag as you become aware of the aroma that is a blend of baby spit-up and stale milk. Breathe deeply.
Drawing 1: Your Baby Explodes in the Car Seat Just as You’re Ready to Leave
Jamie Reynolds, Alex Carter
Did you have any plans? Think again! The moment you strap your baby into their car seat is when the inevitable diaper explosion occurs. Relish this drawing as you recall the moments spent waiting at the pediatrician’s office after arriving late, only to be greeted with a long wait—pure bliss.
Drawing 2: An Elderly Woman in the Store Parking Lot Criticizes You for Not Dressing Your Baby Appropriately
Jamie Reynolds
Once you become a parent, the unsolicited advice flows freely. The instant you step out with your child, well-meaning but intrusive figures will emerge to inform you that: “You’re making a mistake.” “Your baby will suffer lifelong consequences from not wearing socks for a mere 100-foot stroll.” “Is that child wiggling out of their high chair?” You might want to inform them that your baby’s preferred snack is dog fur and that pants are optional. In other words: “Please kindly leave me alone.”
Drawing 3: You Turned Your Back for One Second, and Now Your Baby is Consuming Driveway Gravel
Jamie Reynolds
Rocks are technically a mineral, right? One of the first lessons in motherhood is that cleaning your floors multiple times a day is futile. Your little one has a sixth sense for locating the most unsanitary items—like that pretzel rod you dropped last year during a binge-watching session. They will consume whatever they find, from driveway gravel to dried leaves and even their own spit-up.
Drawing 4: Your Baby Refuses to Wear Pants, Especially in Public, While Others Pass Judgment
Jamie Reynolds
The only thing your baby dislikes more than pants is remaining still. An outfit that makes you look like a responsible parent is clearly not their priority. If you manage to get pants on them, they will undoubtedly drag them through all the dust bunnies in your home, accumulating dog hair along the way. Everyone is watching you and your pantsless child. Refer back to Drawing 3 as you embrace your fate.
Congratulations on embarking on this new artistic endeavor! Finding time for yourself is crucial as a mother. When I’m not doting on my little one or coloring, I might be found in my oversized, stained loungewear, rocking in a corner while shouting, “Don’t touch me!” to my partner. I suggest using colored pencils rather than markers.
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In summary, this coloring book is a humorous and relatable take on the daily trials of parenthood, offering a creative outlet for new parents to unwind while navigating the often overwhelming world of childcare.
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