When a new baby arrives, well-meaning friends and family members often inundate new mothers with advice. Some of this guidance can genuinely be beneficial—especially when accompanied by treats like a bottle of wine or a gift card. However, certain suggestions tend to be less than helpful, and here are six pieces of advice that many new moms would prefer to skip.
1. “Savor Every Moment.”
This phrase can be quite frustrating. The reality of new motherhood often involves sleepless nights and overwhelming fatigue, not idyllic moments of bliss. It can be hard to enjoy the experience when you’re operating on little to no sleep, with bodily discomfort and a constantly crying newborn. While the love for your baby is immense, the exhaustion makes it difficult to relish every second, and the pressure to do so can feel like a heavy burden.
2. “Find Time for Yourself.”
This advice seems unrealistic when you’re tethered to a tiny human nearly every minute of the day. The concept of “me time” feels like a distant memory when you’re navigating the demands of a newborn. Unless someone is stepping in to help out, this suggestion can come across as frustratingly impractical.
3. “Don’t Feel Guilty.”
Guilt is a common companion for new moms. It can be hard to shake off the feelings of inadequacy that often arise. Instead of dismissing these feelings, a more constructive approach would acknowledge that it’s perfectly normal to struggle with balancing parental duties and self-care. Recognizing that it’s okay to feel unsure can be more reassuring.
4. “Sleep When the Baby Sleeps.”
This is often touted as a solution, yet newborns typically sleep for brief periods, making it nearly impossible to catch up on rest. New moms are often left grappling with the reality that they may not have the luxury of falling asleep when the baby does. Instead, they might be preoccupied with chores or simply trying to enjoy a meal without interruptions.
5. “Be Calm and Your Baby Will Be Calm.”
While it’s true that babies can sense their parents’ stress, this doesn’t guarantee that a calm demeanor will result in a tranquil baby. The unpredictability of infants means that even the most composed parent can end up feeling overwhelmed. It’s important to remember that babies have their own temperaments, and sometimes, they just need to cry.
6. “Listen to Your Instincts.”
While trusting your instincts can be valuable, the overwhelming amount of information new parents receive can lead to feelings of inadequacy when those instincts don’t seem to materialize. A more supportive approach would be to remind new moms that it’s normal to feel lost at times and that seeking help or asking questions is perfectly acceptable.
For the sake of new mothers everywhere, let’s focus on providing genuine support rather than unsolicited advice. Offering practical help can make a world of difference.
In conclusion, new motherhood is filled with challenges, and the advice often shared may not resonate with those experiencing it firsthand. Instead of reiterating clichéd phrases, let’s strive to offer real assistance and understanding. For more insights on home insemination and other related topics, you can also explore an excellent resource on IVF at UCSF’s fertility treatment page.
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