Striving for Fairness in Parenting

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As a parent, I invest considerable effort to ensure fairness and equity among my children. For instance, when serving beverages, I intentionally avoid filling their glasses to the brim, mindful of the possibility that I may not have enough for each. When sharing amusing anecdotes from their early years, I make sure to include everyone equally, so no one feels left out. I also ensure that family photos showcase each child fairly and that they participate in the same number of extracurricular activities.

Despite my sincere attempts, my children frequently express feelings of inequality, claiming that I favor one over the others or that their lives are riddled with injustices. After observing their grievances, I can’t help but agree; their lives seem remarkably unfair for various reasons:

1. They must take a shower every night if they smell, even if they showered the previous evening.
2. Drinking my coffee is off-limits.
3. They are responsible for carrying their own backpacks to the car.
4. Recently, while searching for snacks, a rogue chocolate chip was discovered by Max. Unfortunately, his siblings, Sarah and Alex, had to wait until the next day for their treat.
5. Bread always comes with crust, which is a tragedy in their eyes.
6. Loud Minecraft videos on the iPad? Not while I’m working in the kitchen.
7. Mornings mean waking up early.
8. And evenings mean bedtime.
9. I dislike it when they jump in puddles wearing new shoes.
10. If temperatures drop below 35 degrees, jackets are mandatory.
11. Eating upstairs is not allowed.
12. Sarah enjoys an extra 15 minutes of screen time compared to her brothers.
13. As the oldest, she has accumulated significantly more television time than they have.
14. School nights mean no outdoor playtime past 7:15.
15. They must brush their teeth.
16. Last week, they had to accompany me to the bank drive-thru.
17. Homework is a non-negotiable.
18. Outdoor recess is canceled when it rains.
19. The crust-to-pizza ratio is disappointingly skewed.
20. Being the only girl adds to Sarah’s woes.
21. Shoelaces are a constant source of frustration.
22. Riding bikes or scooters indoors? Absolutely not.
23. Max has to wear glasses.
24. Conversely, he gets the cool factor that comes with them.
25. We have to drive to Florida for spring break instead of flying.
26. Monday mornings are an inherent struggle.
27. PG-13 movies are off-limits.
28. They need to remove their muddy shoes before entering the house.
29. Soda is banned.
30. The boys are sometimes envious of having both a brother and a sister.
31. I made Max the last waffle yesterday morning, leaving the others disappointed.
32. Helmets are required for bike riding outdoors.
33. Sleepovers are not permitted on school nights.
34. Sarah will have an amazing time at overnight camp this summer without her brothers.
35. Yet she will miss many fun activities at home.
36. Spelling tests remain a necessary evil.
37. Sarah used too much hot water last night, allowing only a five-minute shower for Max.
38. They never get to skip school for no reason.
39. Each of them does not have their own kitten.
40. Or any kitten at all, which feels deeply unfair.
41. Haircuts are a regular inconvenience.
42. They can’t dictate their dinner choices every night.
43. The remote controls must stay out of their rooms.
44. Getting toenails cut is a dreaded task.
45. They are not allowed to use my computer.
46. Writing thank-you notes is a must.
47. Sarah gets to do everything first, which can be frustrating.
48. Max enjoys the dynamics of being the middle child.
49. Alex often feels like he’s being coddled.
50. And of course, vegetables are a necessary part of their meals.

In summary, while I strive to create a sense of balance within our home, my children frequently perceive their circumstances as unjust. From showering to snack distribution, the small details of daily life can feel overwhelmingly unfair.

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