My son’s study area is adorned with a staggering number of trophies that he hasn’t truly earned. Alright, “staggering” may be a bit dramatic, as many children today share a similar collection of awards, medals, and certificates handed out merely for participation. By the time my son completed elementary school, he had amassed quite a few accolades, leading onlookers to believe he was truly the star of the show.
However, my son wasn’t the top performer on the soccer field—he once even requested to sit out because his uniform was uncomfortable. During a local soccer tournament, he may have stumbled over the ball a few too many times for an 8-year-old. Yet, he has the trophies that validate his experience as an athlete.
While some children genuinely excel and earn their accolades, it seems that an increasing number of kids receive awards simply for showing up. I wholeheartedly believe in nurturing my son’s self-esteem. Did I ever scoff when he struck out in baseball? Absolutely not! Like any loving parent, I offered him that supportive smile, saying, “You gave it your all, even if athleticism isn’t your strong suit.”
I fully support praising effort; however, if there were an award for the most self-assured child (even when it’s unwarranted), my son would take the gold. Nevertheless, the concept of granting trophies solely for participation doesn’t align with my beliefs on fostering true self-worth.
If your child hasn’t earned that trophy, why should they receive one? Does it genuinely boost their self-esteem, or does it promote the idea that mediocrity is acceptable? Are we cultivating a generation that believes merely showing up warrants recognition? A colleague of mine in academia has reported multiple instances of parents emailing her, inquiring why their exceptionally bright children didn’t receive an A in her course. Perhaps it’s because they didn’t earn it.
I want my son to understand that effort and hard work are crucial for achieving success, rather than expecting rewards for minimal input. Imagine if adulthood operated on the premise that everyone receives a trophy. Applying for your dream job? Just show up and it’s yours. Aspiring to join a prestigious PhD program? Everyone gets a spot!
I’m not suggesting we stop supporting or encouraging our children; rather, when your child feels upset because their friend won first place at a competition and they didn’t receive anything, gently explain that not everyone can win all the time. That shiny trophy may catch the eye, but receiving one for mere attendance does not inspire true achievement. I love my son dearly and want the best for him. I certainly don’t want to be in the position of contacting his college professors in the future to plead for higher grades. Instead, I wish for him to learn that genuine effort is what will lead him to his aspirations.
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Summary:
In today’s society, many children receive trophies simply for participation rather than actual achievements. While supporting and encouraging children is essential, it’s equally important to instill the values of hard work and merit. Awards for mere attendance do not inspire genuine success; rather, children should learn that effort is crucial to achieving their goals.
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