By: Emily Parker
Updated: July 2, 2020
Originally Published: April 22, 2017
Spring has finally arrived, and the outdoors is calling. The dogwoods burst forth in a dazzling display of white blossoms, while a tender layer of green blankets the trees, marking the season’s renewal. Buds are emerging from rose bushes, temperatures are rising, and soon it will be time for shorts and flip-flops. This should be a magical time of year, a celebration of life after a long winter confined indoors.
Except for the relentless pollen.
This insidious tree pollen, akin to a stealthy chemical weapon, hangs invisibly in the air, wreaking havoc on our senses. It’s reminiscent of that bizarre M. Night Shyamalan film where plants drive people to despair. Each spring, the trees seem to conspire against us, making life unbearable with their relentless pollen.
For reasons related to our evolutionary makeup, tree pollen sends our immune systems into overdrive. The arrival of spring is marked by the unwelcome onset of allergies. My children’s noses start running, resembling Vermont maple syrup—just much less appetizing. Suddenly, they lose interest in playing outside. The outdoors, which should invigorate them, only brings about a torrent of snot and itchy, red eyes.
The youngest, a three-year-old, develops a fever. His eyes are puffy, and he spends his day sniffling uncontrollably. Meanwhile, my older two suffer from headaches, sneezing fits, and bloodshot eyes. Everyone’s patience wears thin. At least the older kids can articulate their suffering, while the toddler only knows he feels miserable and expresses it by lashing out.
They crave the fresh air, eager to run and play, but once outside, the pollen hits them hard, and they beg to retreat indoors. This leads to chaos as they wreak havoc in the house, fueled by their need to play outside, yet deterred by the allergy symptoms that ensue. Consequently, my home always looks like a tornado hit it, and if they pull the throw blankets off the couch one more time, I might just drive the minivan straight to Vegas and never look back.
To combat this, we decided to purchase some children’s Claritin. After all, we rely on medication to manage allergies. We managed to find it in the “Children’s Cough and Cold” aisle at Target, with a price tag of $24.95 for thirty doses. At this rate, I might have to sell my three-year-old just to get the others through allergy season. Thankfully, generic alternatives exist; however, even these add up quickly when multiplied by the number of kids.
The allergy battle doesn’t stop with the children. My husband wakes each morning looking like he just rolled out of bed after a night of debauchery. If the kids are sneezing, we’re sneezing more. We go through tissues at an alarming rate, reminiscent of a teenage girl desperate for a D-cup. It’s akin to living with a persistent cold, and we find ourselves waiting for relief while cursing the trees that have caused all this misery. The constant tissue use leads to chapped lips, and I end up with a red mark between my nose and upper lip thanks to my kids’ penchant for stealing my Chap Stick. With a red nose added to the mix, I resemble a holiday reindeer gone awry.
As if that weren’t enough, the congestion leads to a chorus of snoring throughout the house. The noise is unbearable: my husband sounds like a dying yak, and the kids are miniature versions of the same. I dose them with Claritin, shove in earplugs, and hope to find some sleep, only to be disrupted by my own rendition of a dying yak.
Headaches plague me, and my contacts feel as if they’re glued to my eyeballs. Everyone is miserable, and while the outdoors beckons, it’s a treacherous trap that exacerbates our symptoms. Trees are wonderful; they provide us with oxygen, yet they seem to seek revenge during allergy season. Fortunately, there’s children’s Claritin, but at $25, it’s a steep price. Anyone interested in purchasing a three-year-old?
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In summary, the arrival of spring brings with it the joy of nature and the unfortunate burden of allergies. While we cherish the beauty of the season, we must navigate the challenges presented by pollen and its effects on our family.
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