A Heartfelt Note to My Childless Friend

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Friendship has a unique quality during childhood, where even the most unfriendly peers can become playmates. I recall an afternoon at the park, watching my son confidently approach two girls, announcing himself as “The Blue Warrior.” They responded with a snicker and hurried away, yet my son continued to declare them his friends.

As we transition to school age, the quest for companionship takes on a different tone. In middle school, finding friends feels akin to a game of musical chairs. When the music halts, you scramble to align with any “clique” available, desperate to avoid being left standing alone at lunch.

High school, meanwhile, shifts the focus to friendships that often come with the prefix “boy.” College introduces a new variety of friends, often the type that may vanish at bars without a word, having met someone new—again, often the kind with “boy” in front.

As years roll by, you gather a diverse array of friends, some more cherished than others. Eventually, many of us settle down, marry, and start families. That’s how I met you.

Over time, you have emerged as my cherished friend, my confidant, and notably, one of the few in my circle without children. While we have shared countless experiences and built a remarkably honest bond, there is one sentiment I’ve kept to myself: I am genuinely grateful you don’t have kids.

When I was expecting alongside some friends, I was optimistic about the friendships that would blossom for our children and ourselves. Yet, reality often paints a different picture—kids don’t always mesh well. My son possesses a spirited nature that doesn’t always thrive in every setting. There are many occasions when I must avoid certain places due to his sensory sensitivities.

Furthermore, engaging with other mothers tends to revolve around topics like diaper rashes and organic baby food, leaving little room for meaningful connection. Playdates often fall through due to illnesses spreading among the little ones or their mothers catching whatever germs are circulating. It seems children’s schedules often rival those of busy adults, with karate, swimming lessons, and family visits dominating their time like tiny celebrities with their mothers acting as agents.

Yet, through every baby shower and birthday celebration, you are present. You are the person I call on my rough days. My children adore you, and you understand my son in ways few others do. Our time together is frequent, and I can share my parenting blunders without fear of judgment.

In essence, you are like my trusty clear nail polish. Did you know that this simple item can be a lifesaver? With it, you can stop shoelaces from fraying, secure buttons, prevent runs in stockings, seal envelopes, tighten loose screws, waterproof matches, and even mend window screens. It’s a household hero that, like you, makes life just a bit easier.

We’ve embarked on many adventures together, and you have witnessed me navigate the most daunting of journeys: balancing a husband and children. You have seen me at my lowest, ready to escape life’s chaos. Without you, my marriage might feel rusty, and my children could become the loose screws in my life. I would likely be a damp match, struggling to ignite.

What I truly want to convey is that you would undoubtedly make a wonderful mother if you choose that path someday. But, for now, I must admit, I am relieved you don’t have children. How would I manage my family without your support?

This heartfelt note reminds us that friendships can take many shapes and forms, and the bonds we cultivate—whether with or without children—are invaluable.

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Summary:

This article shares a heartfelt tribute from a mother to her childless friend, expressing gratitude for their unwavering support. It reflects on the complexities of motherhood, friendships, and the unique bond they share without the challenges of parenting, while also providing links for those interested in exploring parenthood options.


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