Not All Easter Confections Are Made Equal, Friends

On Easter morning in 1987, I leaped out of bed and rushed to my Easter basket. Although I had long outgrown the belief in the Easter Bunny, my parents continued to nurture the tradition. As I eagerly surveyed the vibrant eggs and sweets in my basket, my gaze landed on the ultimate Easter treasure: a cassette tape of the Beastie Boys’ latest album, “Licensed to Ill.” I spent the morning reveling in my newfound party anthem while devouring jelly beans and peanut butter cups as if it were a competitive sport. It was, without a doubt, the most memorable Easter basket I ever received. (Okay, except for the wine basket my partner gifted me after I gave up wine for Lent; that one was pretty fantastic too!)

Back in the 70s and 80s, Easter baskets were delightfully straightforward. A bit of faux grass, some hard jelly beans, and perhaps a chocolate bunny for tradition’s sake were enough to make us hoppy (yes, pun intended). Unbeknownst to us, Easter would evolve into a springtime equivalent of Christmas, leading to more discerning candy preferences. While we all indulge in excessive treats and gifts during this holiday, it’s clear that certain Easter candies have stood the test of time, while others might as well be returned to the Easter Bunny.

1. Peanut Butter Eggs

These have been a staple in Easter baskets since my childhood. Thankfully, they’ve improved over the years.

Then: Peanut butter eggs from brands like Asher’s were generic and sad; we had no clue what we were missing with those imposters filled with artificial peanut butter.
Now: Enter Reese’s Peanut Butter Eggs—please, never leave us, Reese’s!

2. Mini Sugar Egg Panoramas

Then: Sugar eggs, crafted from an absurd amount of sugar with a tiny duck or chick inside, were often lavishly decorated with brightly colored hard icing. These eggs served no purpose other than taking up space in our baskets.
Now: They still appear in Easter baskets. Seriously, why do these sugary eggs endure?

3. Cadbury Creme Eggs

Then: Cadbury Eggs popularized the phrase “No bunny knows Easter like Cadbury” with their iconic commercials showcasing live bunnies auditioning for jobs. You were either Team Cadbury or Team No Creme in My Chocolate.
Now: Stressed-out parents can still be found buying them in bulk at stores the night before Easter, and they remain as unappealing as ever. #SorryNotSorry

4. Pez Dispensers

Then: Pez dispensers were the ultimate treat, dispensing candy on the go with fun characters and refillable ease!
Now: We still love them, and Easter baskets wouldn’t be complete without a bizarre lamb-shaped dispenser spewing out hard sugar squares.

5. Black Jelly Beans

Then: These were the worst of the bunch.
Now: They still deserve to be banished.

6. Chocolate Easter Bunnies

Then: Not seeing a chocolate bunny in your basket on Easter morning was a heart-wrenching disappointment.
Now: You still hope for that bunny, but the joy diminishes when you see your toddler taking a giant bite out of its ears.

7. Malted Easter Eggs

Then: These brightly colored eggs had a satisfying crunch, and you savored the malted flavor, saving the shells for last.
Now: You consume these in secret, hiding in the closet while your kids bang on the door demanding attention.

8. Peeps Marshmallow Chicks

Then: Peeps were merely a delightful thought.
Now: You either love them or get a toothache just looking at them.

9. Easter-Themed Candy Corn

Then: This didn’t exist.
Now: Go home, candy corn, you’re drunk.

10. Jelly Beans

Then: Brach’s was the only jelly bean brand, colorful yet lacking in flavor.
Now: Jelly beans have evolved, with flavors ranging from sour to sweet, making them a full-service Easter candy. What a time to be alive!

11. Foil-Wrapped Chocolate Eggs

Then: The Easter Bunny would hide these colorful eggs around the house, leading to fierce sibling competitions during egg hunts.
Now: The Easter Bunny still hides them, but you often forget how many you’ve hidden, and discover them months later as delightful surprises.

Reflecting on Easter 1987, I can’t help but chuckle at the thought of my Irish Catholic mom purchasing that Beastie Boys cassette for my basket. The joke is on me now, as I realize that playing the Easter Bunny means sneaking all the candy before the kids can get to it. So, if you’ll excuse me, I need to dig into my stash of peanut butter cups and jelly beans. Oh, and I must download some Beastie Boys tunes!

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Summary

Easter has transformed from a simple basket of treats into a vibrant holiday filled with various candies, with some enduring over the years while others have fallen by the wayside. As we reflect on the evolution of Easter confections, it’s clear that our candy preferences have become more refined, yet some nostalgic favorites remain.