As a highly sensitive individual, I have come to understand the critical importance of carving out time for solitude each day. For many years, I dedicated myself fully to being a stay-at-home parent, with my professional work as a breastfeeding counselor and lactation consultant fitting into the corners of my weekends. While I cherished my role, it often felt like a continuous cycle without respite, filled with the demands of adorable but noisy infants and emotional new mothers.
Transitioning to a freelance writing career from home has allowed me to carve out more personal space. With my youngest now in school, I’ve found myself spending more time in my “office” (actually my bedroom). Although this work is serious—requiring me to research, communicate with editors, and produce quality content—it offers a much-needed break from the constant demands of parenthood.
Reflecting on those early years, I realize how profoundly exhausting they were. Parenthood was a dream I actively pursued, yet the constant intensity took its toll. The beautiful chaos of caring for young children often left me feeling depleted. It wasn’t merely the sleepless nights or their unending needs; it was the sensory overload that came with being a parent. My identity often felt lost amidst the drool, tears, and the demands of my children.
Several years ago, I discovered the concept of the highly sensitive person (HSP), introduced by Dr. Elaine Aron. Her insights illuminated my experiences, explaining the anxiety and fatigue I had often faced. HSPs are particularly attuned to their surroundings, easily overwhelmed by bright lights, loud noises, and chaotic environments. The whirlwind of parenthood can be especially challenging for someone like me.
From early on, I realized that organizing numerous playdates or social activities for my children was not feasible for me. Instead, I prioritized quiet time during naps and after bedtime, creating a sanctuary of silence to recharge. While I managed to incorporate self-care into my routine, I now recognize that I need far more than fleeting moments of quiet—I require several hours of uninterrupted solitude each day to maintain my mental balance.
Although I miss certain aspects of my full-time parenting days, I have found a healthier equilibrium in my current lifestyle. I respect that some mothers thrive on being constantly engaged, but I’ve learned that this isn’t my path. Instead of suppressing my sensitivities, I embrace them, recognizing that they enhance my awareness of my children’s needs.
Even now, I require periodic retreats from the busyness of family life. My children understand when I say, “I just need some silence,” as I retreat to my bedroom for a brief meditation session. I hope to instill in them the notion that caring for oneself is a strength rather than a weakness.
Every mother has unique limits and challenges, and prioritizing personal needs can be difficult, especially during the demanding early stages of motherhood. However, neglecting your mental health is detrimental to both you and your children. Acknowledging what you require to feel centered and fulfilled is the first step toward achieving balance—this, in turn, benefits the entire family.
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In summary, as a highly sensitive person, the necessity of daily solitude cannot be overstated. Embracing my sensitivity has allowed me to navigate motherhood more effectively while ensuring that I prioritize my emotional health.
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