After an exhausting day, week, or month, there’s nothing quite like slipping on my jacket and stepping out the door, child-free.
For a mother, having time to oneself is an indulgence. For a single mother, a night out with friends is a rare luxury that often feels essential. As the dedicated caregiver to a little one around the clock, escaping for a few hours isn’t merely enjoyable; it’s crucial for my mental health. I often feel overwhelmed, so when the chance arises to unwind and socialize, I seize it without hesitation!
The rarity of venturing out without my child only amplifies the experience. As a single mom, I tend to hoard these nights out to alleviate the guilt of leaving my son behind. While such guilt is unwarranted, it’s hard to shake. I want my son to know he is cherished, but sometimes I crave adult conversations that don’t involve chasing after him. It’s often just a simple dinner with a close friend, but those couple of hours spent chatting, perhaps enjoying a glass of wine or a cocktail (which I avoid when dining with my son), is incredibly refreshing.
I relish the freedom to vent about my ex without worrying about little ears overhearing. I can express myself without the fear of my son mimicking my language. I can discuss work and share thoughts on topics that don’t revolve around children. It’s liberating.
Single moms often find it easy to ignore aspects of their lives that aren’t centered around parenting. With only 24 hours in a day, every moment counts. Going out comes with financial considerations that can feel impossible when every dollar is accounted for, and finding time away can be tricky amidst an endless to-do list. Securing childcare can be a challenge too, making the idea of a night out feel like a daunting task.
Yet, when you’re on the brink of losing your sanity and a friend invites you out, you must take the plunge! You won’t regret stepping out, but you’ll surely regret another night spent at home scrolling through Netflix and scrubbing dishes. Being a single mom means being “on” all the time, and it can be exhausting. There’s always something demanding attention—even when the child is asleep. That’s often when I catch up on chores.
Taking the occasional night off helps me remember that I’m more than just “Mommy.” Beneath that title, I’m still “Lila,” and she deserves care too. After a night out, I return feeling rejuvenated. It’s astounding how a few hours of adult interaction and a good meal can nourish the soul. I can dive into conversations about my interests, like my unending crush on pop icons or the latest book I’m reading. These moments refill my emotional reservoir.
I didn’t realize how much I had been missing until I reintroduced these outings into my life. Recently, I’ve become more comfortable leaving my son to enjoy time with friends. He’s 3 1/2 now and has learned to thrive without me for short periods, allowing us both to benefit. I can linger over dessert or another drink, while he enjoys quality time with family or a sitter.
As a single mother working from home, my son and I are inseparable. Pulling away was an adjustment for us both. I cherished every moment spent with him, ensuring he was safe and happy. However, I came to understand that, while I adore being with him, I also need time apart for my well-being and his.
Now that I’ve started to prioritize outings with friends, I’ve discovered a renewed sense of self, transcending the label of single mom. It’s all too easy to let one’s identity become entangled solely in parenting, but true fulfillment comes from embracing all facets of life. Self-care is essential, and single moms deserve it too, even with a few extra hurdles.
Certain realities of single motherhood will remain unchanged. Bedtime duties are solely mine, finances will always be tight, and feelings of burnout are part of the journey. However, it’s important to remember that life doesn’t have to feel overwhelming all the time.
I’m learning to reach out to friends for those long-overdue catch-ups or to explore new restaurants. Not only does this help restore my sanity, but it also makes me a better mom. My son deserves the best version of me, so I will continue to carve out kid-free nights for my own well-being.
In summary, embracing time for oneself as a single parent is vital for maintaining mental health and personal identity. The challenges of parenting can sometimes overshadow the need for personal care, but prioritizing social connections and self-care ultimately benefits both mother and child.
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