It’s no secret that I’ve spent much of my life as a meticulous planner and a stickler for rules. Punctuality and adherence to schedules have always been high on my list of priorities. Exciting, right?
When my first child arrived, I managed to maintain a semblance of control. I would swoop in before she could taste the playground mulch, and I was always armed with hand sanitizer for any public mess. I adhered to an overly rigid schedule, treating nap time as a sacred ritual that I refused to compromise on. With just one child, it was easier to manage the chaos—after all, I wasn’t outnumbered yet.
Fast forward to today, and I now have three children and over a decade of parenting experience. Surprisingly, even after all this time, I find myself still trying to maintain control. My kids still have set bedtimes, and being punctual remains a priority. However, I’ve begun to realize that their happiness and emotional well-being often outweigh my desire to stick to my self-imposed rules.
With an expanding family, I’ve had to learn to release my grip on the reins, even when I wasn’t fully prepared. The reality of having more children than parents means that sometimes, the best response is simply to say yes.
For someone with OCD, the prospect of messiness and disorder can be daunting. Therefore, embracing the role of a ‘yes’ parent has been a significant challenge for me.
A ‘yes’ parent encourages their children to explore and get messy. They might say yes to a lemonade stand on a scorching day when you’d rather be resting. They might allow glitter to be used or invite little helpers into the kitchen, even when it’s more efficient to cook solo.
Saying yes to playing in the rain and constructing fortresses—even when the living room may resemble a disaster zone for weeks—becomes a new norm. Yes parents willingly carry around 82 Lego bricks at the park because the toddler couldn’t bear to leave them behind. They allow friends over frequently and sometimes extend bedtimes for a little extra fun. They might even take an impromptu trip to the zoo, realizing that chores can wait another day.
Yes parents understand the importance of letting their children be little. They join in on spontaneous adventures, whether it’s stopping to smell the flowers or splashing in puddles during a thunderstorm. Importantly, being a ‘yes’ parent doesn’t equate to spoiling children; it’s about recognizing that time with them is fleeting.
One day, you might look back and wish you had embraced those little moments more, letting go of the trivial details that didn’t truly matter. For control-oriented individuals like myself, shifting to a ‘yes’ mindset takes conscious effort and deep breaths. It involves daily reevaluation of what truly matters and a reminder that small moments can be the most significant.
It’s about learning to set aside personal anxieties and the need for order, understanding that these moments of joy will be fleeting. Saying yes more often can lead to a happier family dynamic, allowing you to relish the little things that leave lasting impressions on your children’s lives.
If you can step back from the anxiety that spills over when they attempt to pour their own milk or create a mess, you’ll find that letting them take the lead fosters growth for everyone involved. It’s within these moments that the real magic of childhood occurs, not just for them but for you as well.
As you start to witness the joy and memories being created, your heart and mind will gradually ease. You’ll recognize that you are cultivating experiences that benefit the whole family and that it feels immensely rewarding.
Saying yes can help you view the world through your children’s eyes, offering a chance to pause and appreciate simple pleasures, like tossing rocks into a creek or watching them blow dandelion seeds in the backyard.
Just take a breath and try to see life from their perspective. To them, it’s brimming with possibilities, even if those possibilities involve filling a plastic pool on a lazy afternoon or blowing bubbles indoors on a dreary day.
In doing so, you’ll discover that not only are your children savoring their childhoods, but you are also uncovering the enchantment that can arise from a single word—yes.
For additional insights on parenting and home insemination, you can explore more about using an at-home insemination kit or read about navigating your fertility journey.
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