Motherhood can often feel like an insurmountable challenge, yet many of us transform it into an unrealistic competition. The harsh reality is that motherhood isn’t a sport we can practice for—it’s not a game with a clear winner. At the finish line, there’s no medal waiting for us.
The sacrifices are significant. You might forgo cheese, wine, and deli meats for nine months, abandon hair dye, and lose bits of your former self (I, for one, traded my teeth). You surrender sleep, intimacy, and precious “me time.” Hobbies fade, Sunday newspapers become a distant memory, and the leisurely Saturday naps vanish. The spontaneity of takeout dinners, last-minute vacations, and school holiday trips often disappears. Many women even relinquish their careers, personal identities, and dreams.
But despite all these sacrifices, the grim truth remains: there’s no medal at the end of motherhood.
Once you become a mother, that identity sticks with you for life. The journey ebbs and flows; it may become simpler, then complex again, resembling the persistent challenge of dealing with head lice. And ultimately, what awaits at the end of motherhood? Death. Even then, you might find yourself navigating those feelings in therapy sessions.
Motherhood isn’t an Olympic event. You won’t earn gold for crafting homemade Rice Krispie treats or for enrolling your child in multiple activities—or, conversely, deciding they should play in the mud all day. There’s no podium for moms who juggle multiple teams or teach Latin. You won’t break records for sleepless nights or extended breastfeeding. Regardless of how you fill your days—whether with elaborate cakes or store-bought treats—there’s no medal to commemorate it.
There’s no silver for the kale purée you meticulously prepare or bronze for the honesty you bring to your parenting narrative.
Motherhood is not a race; it’s not an endurance test that requires training and hydration stations (unless we’re referring to wine). While we all strive to discover our personal best, it shouldn’t revolve around how much we can accomplish or how little we can do. It’s about striking a balance—raising children to be responsible adults while ensuring we remain healthy, functioning individuals ourselves.
Attempting to be everything at once might give a false sense of achievement, but at the end of the day? Still no medal.
If you’re fortunate, you might receive flowers and brunch on Mother’s Day. You can bake exquisite cakes, host perfect parties, and sew impressive Halloween costumes. You might create artistic lunches or be the one who volunteers for every field trip, attending every assembly and concert. Alternatively, you can take pride in doing none of those things. Regardless, the outcome is the same—there’s still no medal.
Women are inherently intelligent, creative, and capable. Yet, after having children, the beautiful complexity of womanhood often gets channeled into motherhood, leading to a bloated sense of competition. Ultimately, we find ourselves striving for the unattainable gold medal.
Being a “good” or “bad” mom should not define your entire existence. It can be a significant part of your life if you choose, but it’s essential to set those boundaries for yourself. Even when motherhood feels like a contest, it isn’t one. There are no podiums, no flags raised in your honor, and no anthems sung. No interviews or diaper boxes featuring your face as the epitome of motherhood. No parades or Wikipedia entries. There are no trophies or consolation prizes.
The true reward of motherhood is raising children who lead respectful, meaningful lives—contributing positively to society, even if it’s simply by being kind. That is your real reward, and it far surpasses any medal. Just remember not to exhaust yourself in pursuit of it, or you may miss out on the joy of the journey.
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Summary
Motherhood is a profound journey filled with sacrifices and challenges, but it is not a competition for medals or accolades. The essence of being a mother lies in raising children who become positive members of society. The rewards are intrinsic and far more valuable than any tangible recognition.
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