Hey friends, the moment we’ve all been waiting for is here—the 2017 GOOP holiday gift guide has finally dropped! You know what that means: time for Gwyneth and her crew to curate a list of extravagant items that most of us can only dream of affording. This year’s selection is just as wild as ever, and trust me, you will definitely have some feelings—whether it’s laughter, envy, or just plain disbelief. It’s basically a holiday rite of passage!
In response to all the jokes about her gift lists, Gwyneth decided to embrace the humor last year by introducing the “Ridiculous But Awesome Gift Guide.” Cute attempt, but let’s be real, Gwyneth. Stay in your lane; we’re the ones here to poke fun. Alright, let’s dive in!
Extravagant Gifts
Starting off, we have the Royal Spa At-Home Float Tank priced at a jaw-dropping $16,500. At first, I thought it was some sort of futuristic toilet, but nope! It’s a water-filled pod you climb into and seal. Imagine being trapped in a dark plastic coffin—you know, just a normal Christmas gift. Yikes!
Next up is the Ural Sidecar Motorcycle, which starts at $14,499. It’s marketed for “you and your ride or die,” but let’s be real—most people will just toss their dog in it for a ride to the grocery store. Not subtle at all, right?
Then there’s the Rose Gold Champagne Tumbler for $2,590. Yes, you read that right—one cup, not a set. Because nothing screams “festive” like a nearly $3,000 tumbler. Cheers to the holidays!
Now, let’s talk about the Blink And You’ll Miss It Remote Camp, priced upon request. It’s like a luxury survival experience, where you get dropped off in the wilderness and pretend it’s fun. Totally Instagram-worthy and definitely not my idea of a good time.
How about a Chocolate Cutter, also price upon request? It’s essentially a fancy tool to slice chocolate, which seems completely unnecessary. Who even needs to cut a Reese’s into four pieces? That’s just wrong!
Then there are the Stuffed Animal Chairs, also price upon request. Really, where do you even sit on those? Honestly, it’s probably a small fortune, and just knowing they’re sold out makes me mad.
And finally, we have a Yellow Submarine, price upon request. This one is tagged “For when the yacht is in the shop.” Because who doesn’t want a claustrophobic toy to play with?
E! calculated that if you wanted to buy everything on this year’s list, you’d need over $6 million. Ah, the joys of being fabulously wealthy!
Explore More
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So there you have it! The GOOP gift guide is as absurd as ever, leaving us with plenty to laugh about this holiday season.
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