So there I am, hanging out at the park with my little ones, trying to strike that perfect balance between letting them explore and keeping them safe. I mean, I get that bumps and bruises are part of growing up, but the last thing I want is an afternoon spent at Urgent Care with a kid whose arm looks like a pretzel. No thanks!
My main goal at these outings is to prevent any of my kiddos from getting hurt or requiring stitches. But then, out of nowhere, it happens. Another kid, bigger than my youngest, pushes her down or smacks her when she just wants to join in on the fun. My son gets called a mean name or shoved aside.
Suddenly, my jaw clenches and I can feel my muscles tense up. It’s like the Hulk is about to emerge, ready to unleash fury on that little punk who dared to mess with my baby. In a fantasy world, I’d swoop in, create a little chaos, and then calmly return to my normal size, looking for my shirt.
Okay, so it’s not quite that dramatic. In reality, I usually just shoot a nasty glare at the offending child to let them know I’m watching, and I’ll give their caregiver a look that says, “I see you, and I know how to ruin their screen time this afternoon.” More often than not, this gets the bully to back off while I stew in my daydreams of revenge until it’s time to head home.
Deep down, I know that harboring these thoughts isn’t doing anyone any favors. Kids can be pretty mean to each other—it’s just part of growing up. And I totally get that I can’t expect every child to be nice to mine all the time. But when my mom instincts kick in and I sense unfairness happening? A primal part of me takes over.
I’d never actually go off on a small child, but man, thinking about it can be oddly satisfying. It’s similar to the joy of slamming the door on a persistent salesperson while I’m braless, unshowered, and using myself as a human barricade against my screeching kids. Definitely as satisfying as letting out a well-placed curse word or telling my mother-in-law to “bless her own heart.”
At the end of the day, I want my kids to learn how to stand up for themselves. If I think they can handle a confrontation, I let them deal with it while I mentally plot the demise of the other kid’s favorite stuffed animal. I don’t want them to think I’ll swoop in to save them from every little thing, even though I could totally take on that snotty six-year-old.
I’m not naive, though; I know my kids aren’t perfect angels. They can be jerks too, and if I catch them in the act or hear about it, I’ll step in right away. That’s the difference! I won’t let them shove someone to the ground or hurl insults while I look the other way.
By keeping my rage bottled up and channeling it into more productive activities—like scrubbing grass stains or going to barre class—I’m showing my little ones that taking the high road is the way to go. There’s no need for them to know that my inner thoughts are filled with the tears of their enemies after I’ve shattered their childhood illusions. They’ll uncover some of that in therapy one day, I’m sure. For now, I’ll remain calm and composed, secretly plotting the demise of the preschooler who tripped my toddler on purpose.
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Summary
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