Hey friends! You know, I often come across the term “special needs mom” floating around on social media, especially during the holiday season or when IEPs are being discussed. There are countless listicles, memes, and blog posts dedicated to this label, but I have to say, I don’t identify with it at all.
Let’s get real. Some folks might assume I fit that mold because I’m deaf. According to the typical understanding of “special needs,” being deaf certainly qualifies, right? But let’s break down what I truly need in my life:
- I need opportunities to grow and showcase my potential.
- I need to contribute meaningfully to the world around me.
- I need to enjoy life and have fun.
- I need a community—friends, acquaintances, and people who truly care about me.
- I need love, both to give and receive.
- I need the basics: food, water, air, and financial stability to build my life.
These aren’t “special” needs; they are simply human needs. Sure, I’m deaf and I deal with complex PTSD, but that just makes me a mom with a disability—not a “special needs mom.”
Oh wait! Did you think I was a “special needs mom” because my child has “special needs”? Well, my daughter has Down syndrome, which is often categorized that way too. But let’s take a look at her needs, shall we?
- She needs opportunities to discover and develop her potential.
- She needs to contribute in ways that are fulfilling to her.
- She needs to have fun and enjoy her life.
- She needs a community filled with supportive friends and caring individuals.
- She needs love to give and receive.
- Just like everyone else, she needs food, water, air, and will require resources to build her future.
So again, are these needs “special”? No, they are human needs, plain and simple. Down syndrome means she has a disability, not that she has “special needs.”
Whether it’s my own disability or my daughter’s Down syndrome, I am definitely NOT a “special needs mom.” I’m a deaf mom, a disabled mom, and I’m proud of that. But one thing I am not is a “special needs mom.”
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To summarize, I believe that we all have basic human needs regardless of our abilities or challenges. Labels like “special needs” can be misleading and fail to capture the essence of who we are. Let’s strive to recognize our shared human experiences instead.
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