Dealing with a mental health issue can be terrifying and isolating. It’s painful to experience it, and for those who care about someone facing these challenges, it can be equally distressing to watch them struggle. A supportive friend can be a true blessing and, in some cases, a lifesaver.
From my experiences on both sides of the coin, here’s what I’ve learned about being a supportive friend:
Don’t Take It Personally If They Pull Away
My friend Lisa began distancing herself from everyone before I even realized she was dealing with a mental illness. As her situation worsened, she completely disappeared from my life for a couple of years. When I eventually faced my own mental health battles, I understood her actions all too well.
When someone is grappling with mental illness, they often feel overwhelmed and ashamed. They may withdraw out of fear of being misunderstood or rejected. It’s vital to be patient and not take their distance personally. They’re navigating a tough emotional landscape, and it’s not your fault.
Listen More, Ask Less
While Lisa wasn’t always open about her struggles, during a few honest conversations, I learned that simply listening was profoundly helpful. It’s essential to create a non-judgmental space for them to express their feelings without probing too much. Ask them how they’re feeling or how you can support them, but avoid intrusive questions that might make them feel worse.
Shower Them with Unconditional Love
Love can be a powerful healer. Remind your friend that they matter and that they are loved. Being there for them during their darkest moments—whether by sending supportive messages or remembering special occasions—can make a significant difference. If they lash out, try to forgive them quickly; it’s often the mental illness speaking, not them.
In my case, my mom was a constant source of love and support. She would comfort me and acknowledge my pain without judgment. If your friend isn’t reachable, you can also show love by caring for their loved ones. For instance, when Lisa was struggling, I sent gifts to her younger sister to let her know I was thinking of them.
Don’t Define Them by Their Illness
No one wants to be labeled by their struggles. Remind your friend of the life they have outside their mental health issues. Engage them in conversations about hobbies, friends, and shared experiences. The goal is to distract them from their pain and remind them they’re more than their diagnosis.
Be Persistent, Not Pushy
I learned the hard way that being overly persistent can backfire. I worried so much about Lisa that I called her too often, which pushed her further away. Instead, give them space. If they’re in crisis, however, don’t hesitate to intervene. Sometimes, a caring friend or family member can make a crucial difference.
Pray for Them
Life can get busy and overwhelming, but it’s vital to remember your friend is battling their illness daily. While you might need to take breaks, they don’t have that luxury. Praying for them can keep them in your thoughts and provide you with strength and wisdom when you’re feeling drained. You might be surprised by the impact those prayers can have on their healing journey.
In my experience, consistent prayers and support from friends made a world of difference for Lisa. Over time, she began to open up again, reconnecting with friends and finding joy in life.
In Summary
Supporting a friend with a mental illness can be challenging, but it’s essential. Love, patience, and understanding can go a long way. Be the friend you’d want by your side during tough times, as you may find yourself needing such support someday.
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