Lately, I’ve noticed a trend on social media and various parenting blogs—moms sharing heartfelt “advice” for their daughters, hoping to impart some of their hard-earned wisdom. While the intention is admirable, there often seems to be a disconnect between the advice given and the realities their daughters will face. For instance, one piece urged, “Please don’t engage in sexual activity until you’re ready for children.” This overlooks the fact that many women may choose to enjoy intimacy without the immediate intention of parenting. Trust me, I experienced motherhood right after my first attempt at conceiving—twice! If I had confined my sexual experiences solely to baby-making, I would have missed out on countless joyful moments. And let’s be honest, pleasure is a fundamental part of life.
Though the thought of my daughter (or anyone in my family) experiencing intimacy is personal, I would never want to deny her that joy just to feel comfortable myself. It’s vital to acknowledge the challenges she may face and to equip her with better guidance for navigating a complicated world. So here’s my list of advice, meant to be more relevant, while reminding her that personal experiences often lead to the most profound lessons:
- Practice Kindness, but Know When to Draw the Line.
As you grow, you’ll learn when to stand firm. Be polite, but don’t hesitate to say “no” when necessary—like when asked to volunteer for something that doesn’t align with your priorities. - Cherish Your Inner Circle.
Identify those who are trustworthy and supportive. Keep them close, remember their special days, and reach out when you need them—especially at 4 a.m. when you can’t find your things! - Question Media Messages.
From a young age, you’ll face pressure to conform to unrealistic beauty standards. Always remember that the flawless images in magazines are often digitally altered and unattainable. Your self-worth is not defined by your appearance. - Embrace Healthy Intimacy.
Explore your body and your desires, both alone and with a partner who values your pleasure. If something feels off, it’s perfectly okay to stop. - Stand Firm Against Patriarchy.
If any male family members display disrespect towards you during gatherings, assert your strength and intelligence. You know how to choose a good partner because we raised you to be discerning. And if the moment calls for it, slam your fist on the table and proclaim, “My choices are mine alone!” - Find Your Grounding.
Life can be tough, so discover what helps you feel centered, whether it’s sports, art, or even indulging in guilty-pleasure TV. Remember, things often improve over time, but prioritize your mental health. - You Owe No One Anything.
Be kind in your interactions, but don’t feel obliged to be anyone’s emotional support or doormat. Your happiness should come first—after all, you cannot fill others’ cups from an empty one. - I’ll Always Support Your Choices.
Whatever decisions you make in life, I will be here without judgment. However, I might still share my opinions—sorry, I’m still your mom! - Be Cautious of Online Advice.
Much of it is laced with outdated concepts cloaked in appealing articles. Trust me, I’ve searched for “relationship advice” and often found the same narrow viewpoints. Explore credible sources instead, like the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development for valuable information on pregnancy. - Don’t Feel Pressured to Smile.
You may inherit our family’s “resting face,” which often invites unsolicited questions about your mood. When asked, feel free to respond with something thought-provoking—like contemplating the fate of the planet! - Being Single is Perfectly Acceptable.
Contrary to societal pressures, you don’t need a partner to feel fulfilled. Embrace the freedom of singlehood—you can have all the blankets and even a dog! - If You Ever Find Yourself Pregnant, Know I’m Here for You.
I will support you in whatever choice you make, no questions asked.
I love you, and I’ve chosen to remain anonymous to protect your privacy and my sanity. This advice may seem controversial, but it’s time we recognize our daughters as empowered individuals rather than delicate beings. Perhaps I should be bolder in sharing my thoughts, but that can be exhausting, especially when I have my own life—and joys—to focus on.
Summary:
This article provides essential advice for daughters on navigating life, relationships, and self-worth. It encourages kindness, self-awareness, and independence while addressing societal pressures and the importance of mental health. The author emphasizes the value of personal experiences over conventional advice and highlights the need for open communication about intimate topics.
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