As I was scrolling through my drafts, I stumbled upon an old title: “Mama Needs a Break.” I had written it when I was nine months pregnant with my second son, who is now six months old. I was so exhausted at the time that I barely managed to finish the title before falling into a deep sleep with my laptop nearby.
Reflecting on that moment, I realize how many parents can relate. How often do we find ourselves exhaling deeply after a particularly intense tantrum from our three-year-old, who threw a fit over the color of his cup? We think, “I really need a breather before I lose my mind.”
Yet, as parents, true breaks often seem elusive. I don’t consider it a break when I put the kids to bed 30 minutes early just to catch a quick episode of a show before dozing off. And dropping the kids off at my mom’s while my partner and I enjoy a meal out hardly feels like a genuine respite.
There’s always that nagging voice in my head. It reminds me not to indulge too much on date night because I’ll have to rise early to feed the baby. Or it keeps me occupied with the endless list of chores—gathering tax documents for our accountant or moving laundry sitting too long in the washer.
When I think of a break, I envision escaping responsibilities for an entire week—no laundry, no cleaning, no feeding kids, or changing sheets in the middle of the night due to accidents. I don’t even want to think about letting the dog out for the umpteenth time that day.
Let me clarify: I adore my children more than anything. But, I sometimes wish I didn’t need to clarify that, as judgment often follows such admissions.
The first time my partner and I got a break was about three months post the birth of our first son. I still remember how magical it felt to arrive at our hotel room and simply lie on the bed in absolute silence. We just savored the stillness for what felt like ages.
It’s been far too long since we’ve taken a trip without the kids. Our family vacations are wonderful, but they still require early mornings and constant attention to the little ones. I genuinely enjoy my time with them, but I can’t remember the last time I lounged by the pool with a book, baby monitor free. I feel so tightly wound, constantly worrying if the kids are okay or if they’re giving the babysitter a hard time.
Am I the only parent who feels this way?
For just one week, I wish to wake up without the fear of hearing a child cry in the night. I want to shower as long as I’d like, enjoy quiet moments, watch TV sprawled out on a bed without a child demanding a specific cartoon, and eat meals without little fingers sneaking bites from my plate.
For a week, I want to skip laundry, focus on myself, and not change a single diaper. I don’t want to clean any messes or think about how a corner of my home could use a deep clean. I want to have uninterrupted conversations with my partner without a tiny human interrupting to ask where his toys are (which are typically right under his nose).
I need a break.
Am I being selfish? Not in my opinion. Everyone deserves time off to recharge and maintain their sanity. I believe that to be the best parent I can be, I must prioritize self-care and take breaks when needed.
So, I’ve made a resolution: in 2024, I will carve out time for myself and my partner. We will escape, unwind, shower at our leisure, read books, and dine at a table that doesn’t require a high chair.
Sure, I know I’ll miss those little hands and messy faces after a day or two. But it will be worth it. I dedicate my life to nurturing these tiny humans, and at times, I simply need a little time to myself. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, after all.
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In summary, taking a break as a parent is essential for well-being. While responsibilities can feel overwhelming, prioritizing self-care is crucial to maintaining sanity and being the best parent possible.
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