“Self-care” has become a popular term these days. When I first began addressing my postpartum anxiety and depression, my therapist frequently inquired about my “self-care” habits or routines. Initially, I assumed she was referring to basic hygiene practices—an understandable misconception, especially when battling the exhaustion that often accompanies depression. For those who have experienced similar feelings, you can relate to the struggle of simply getting out of bed. I quickly learned that self-care encompasses much more than just staying clean; it’s about engaging in activities that nurture and recharge us.
As a solo parent, integrating self-care into my daily life can be challenging. I prefer not to label myself as a “single mom,” but during my partner’s lengthy deployment, I often feel the weight of parenting alone. Living far from home adds to the difficulty, as I lack nearby family support. This unique situation means my approach to self-care may differ from others.
Establish a Consistent Bedtime
Establishing a consistent bedtime for my child is essential. As a working mom, I sometimes grapple with the guilt of putting my toddler to bed early, especially when I haven’t had much time with him throughout the day. Without my partner to share the nighttime routine, the responsibility falls solely on me. However, ensuring a strict bedtime not only benefits my son’s mood but also creates a valuable window for my own self-care. Knowing that he’ll be asleep by 7:30 pm each night allows me to carve out 90 minutes for myself after completing household chores. Whether it’s indulging in popcorn while binge-watching my favorite show, unwinding in a warm bath with a delightful bath bomb I found online, or simply giving myself a mini spa treatment by painting my toenails, I look forward to this time. When the day feels overwhelming, I remind myself that my “me time” is just a few hours away.
Prioritize Your To-Do List
Another important lesson I learned is to differentiate between what needs immediate attention and what can wait. I used to feel a relentless pressure to maintain a spotless home, believing that it was my duty as a mother. My therapist humorously prompted me: “Are you expecting a visit from Martha Stewart?” This made me realize that I was being too hard on myself. While I strive to keep my home tidy, I don’t need to panic over a laundry basket that’s overflowing or shoes scattered around. Together, we made a list of tasks that required urgent attention and those that could be postponed. For instance, does it matter if the dishes are done tonight or can they wait until morning? Probably the latter. Prioritizing my to-do list has become a fundamental aspect of my self-care, as feeling overwhelmed by trivial matters only adds unnecessary stress.
Find Self-Care in the Little Things
Self-care can often be found in the little things. Since I don’t have a regular babysitter or local friends and family to rely on, I’ve learned to incorporate quick self-care options into my daily routine. This might mean stopping for my favorite coffee on the way to work or treating myself to an eyebrow wax while out running errands. Self-care doesn’t have to be extravagant; sometimes it’s as simple as enjoying a few extra minutes in the car, listening to my favorite song before diving into the chaos of the day.
Acknowledge Your Independence
It’s crucial to acknowledge and celebrate your independence. As a solo parent, I often battle feelings of inadequacy and the belief that I’m not doing enough for my child. With no one around to reassure me of my efforts, I’ve integrated a practice into my self-care routine where I reflect on one positive thing I accomplished each day. Whether it’s being punctual for daycare drop-off, preparing a nutritious meal, or spending quality cuddle time with my child, recognizing these achievements boosts my confidence. It may seem trivial, but being your own cheerleader is vital when you navigate parenting solo.
Prioritize Your Needs
Of course, my child’s needs come first, but I’ve realized that prioritizing my own needs doesn’t diminish my ability to care for him. I’ve learned that it’s healthier for both of us if I take some time for myself, like putting him to bed early so I can unwind after a tough day. Self-care doesn’t have to be lavish or costly; it can be simple, free, and easily incorporated into a busy schedule once you identify what rejuvenates you.
For those exploring at-home options for parenthood, checking out resources like Make a Mom’s artificial insemination kit or their other options can be helpful. Additionally, March of Dimes offers excellent insights on pregnancy and related topics.
Conclusion
In summary, as a solo parent, establishing a self-care routine is essential. By setting boundaries, prioritizing tasks, and celebrating small victories, you can nurture both your well-being and that of your child. Remember, self-care can be simple yet effective in maintaining balance in your life.
Leave a Reply