Experiencing the term Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) in relation to my child stirred a whirlwind of emotions within me. My mind raced as I grappled with the reality of entering a new phase of life that had never been part of my meticulously crafted plans. I always envisioned my children as high-achieving students, involved in extracurricular activities, and emotionally well-adjusted individuals—essentially, perfect little beings supported by parents who had it all figured out.
Let’s take a moment to chuckle at my naivety. It’s never a pleasant experience to have your dreams abruptly disrupted, but life has a way of throwing unexpected challenges our way.
What Does This “New Normal” Entail?
This new reality is actually a validation of what I sensed deep down from the start. From the moment I cradled my firstborn in my arms, I felt that he was unique—not in the typical “every child is different” sense, but in a way that defied the expectations outlined in baby books. For instance, my infant rarely napped. If we were lucky, he’d squeeze in a mere 15 to 20 minutes of sleep. He was the epitome of a colicky baby, often overwhelmed and anxious, struggling to navigate the world around him.
As he grew, we began to notice more distinct behaviors. Unlike most babies who explore by putting objects in their mouths, he would meticulously examine items, turning them over and studying them for extended periods. Even before he turned two, his memory was exceptional. He could navigate an electronic map of the United States without any assistance, having learned to identify states through repetition. His focus and memory were astonishing.
As time passed, more of his quirks became apparent—frequent meltdowns, OCD behaviors, and intense anger. Each of these traits was a piece of a larger puzzle that took us seven years to decode. Ultimately, we began to see the full picture.
This new normal brings a sense of liberation. Our son will now receive the support he needs to not merely survive but thrive in various aspects of his life. He will engage with specialists who focus on ASD and anxiety, equipping him with tools to handle everyday social situations. School will transform into a place tailored to his unique learning style, offering him the freedom to excel.
While many aspects of his personality will remain unchanged—his fascination with dinosaurs, maps, and numbers will persist, while other kids might gravitate toward movies or sports—we understand that he will require additional affirmation and reassurance. He will still experience love, guidance, and discipline, albeit through slightly modified methods to cater to his needs. The most significant shift we are embracing is the newfound knowledge that will empower us to support our exceptional child.
The Power of Knowledge
And here’s a truth I’ve come to appreciate: knowledge is indeed power. I’ve always recognized this, but there’s a distinction between knowing something and truly believing it. I once feared that labeling my child would bring unwarranted stigma. If I’m honest, my concerns were rooted in my own insecurities. I worried about how others would perceive my son when he exhibited behaviors that didn’t fit the mold—like when he struggled to inflate a balloon or when he had a meltdown during a football game.
Accepting that my child would be “different” was daunting. Different is synonymous with fear, challenge, and discomfort. However, I’ve come to understand that being different can also be extraordinary. Just look at notable figures like Albert Einstein and Sir Isaac Newton, who were also on the autism spectrum.
When you gain the tools to understand how to best support your child, an overwhelming sense of peace envelops you. My child may learn differently, but that doesn’t mean he can’t succeed. His path to forming meaningful connections might take longer, but it’s certainly achievable. He will face life’s challenges in his own way, and that’s perfectly okay.
Advice for Parents
If I could offer one piece of advice to parents navigating a similar journey with a “different” child, it would be this: don’t fear a diagnosis. Instead, fear the lack of knowledge that could hinder your child’s ability to flourish in their unique traits. At the end of the day, “different” isn’t so bad, and this new normal is simply a part of life.
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Summary
After my child’s autism diagnosis, I learned to embrace our new normal, realizing that it provided us with the tools to support his unique learning and emotional needs. While challenges exist, being different can lead to extraordinary outcomes, and knowledge empowers us to nurture our child effectively.
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