After nearly a decade of marriage, it took me far too long to do something truly special for my wife on Valentine’s Day. I want to start with an honest admission: if you’re reading this and thinking you’ve never gone all out for your partner on this day, know that I was once in the same boat.
When my wife, Sarah, and I first tied the knot, I was juggling college classes. Shortly after, she returned to school while we welcomed three kids into our lives. We moved around a lot and often found ourselves without family nearby to help with babysitting. Looking back, I realize my reluctance to plan something nice for Valentine’s Day stemmed more from my own perceptions of time and money rather than any real obstacles.
In truth, we could have made it work. We could have found a sitter, dressed up, and enjoyed a night out. But I had my reservations. I’ve worn a tux only a handful of times—at my brother’s wedding, at my sister’s wedding, and of course, at my own. Each time, I was less than enthusiastic. The thought of reaching out to acquaintances for babysitting help didn’t appeal to me either.
However, the real reason we didn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day in a meaningful way was my own laziness. And believe me, that’s not a trait that fosters a strong, lasting marriage.
Let’s clarify what “doing something nice on Valentine’s Day” truly means. It’s not just a simple “I love you” text, a heart-shaped pizza, or a cheeky coupon for a back massage that ultimately serves more as a gift for you. And definitely not edible lingerie.
Doing something nice means stepping outside the routine. It could involve making a reservation at a nice restaurant, perhaps one that has a dress code and offers its own wine. If that’s not in your budget, no worries—I understand. Instead, consider a thoughtful surprise: maybe take her back to where you had your first date, or even where you shared your first kiss. And don’t forget to kiss her again!
You could even order flowers that resemble her wedding bouquet or compile a photo album of cherished memories to present to her. These options are easily accessible and won’t break the bank.
You might be thinking: “Why is this even important? Isn’t Valentine’s Day just a commercialized holiday?” Perhaps, but taking the time to arrange a date night or a special surprise is a tangible way to show love.
I don’t do something special for Sarah on Valentine’s Day just to tick a box—there are deeper reasons at play. A few years ago, I decided to splurge and take her to an exquisite restaurant in a vineyard in Oregon. The venue was perched on a hill, surrounded by endless rows of grapes, and the ambiance resembled that of a castle with its stone architecture and large windows.
Dressed to impress, we sat by a crackling fireplace, savoring our meal while the sun dipped below the horizon. Even after more than a decade of marriage, that sunset illuminated her eyes more beautifully than I’d ever seen. The sound of her laughter mingled perfectly with the warmth of the fire, and I felt a renewed surge of love for her, the amazing woman who is the mother of my children.
I know this sounds sentimental, but I can’t shake the memory of that night. For days afterwards, I couldn’t help but think about it. I’ve come to realize that doing something nice for my wife on Valentine’s Day was not simply an expense or a waste of time; it was an investment in our relationship—an investment in us.
In the hustle and bustle of parenting young kids, it’s all too easy to let a marriage slip into the background. Taking the time to see your partner in a new light is incredibly valuable. So guys, make the effort this Valentine’s Day. It’s worth it.
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Summary
In this article, Alex reflects on his journey of realizing the importance of making an effort for his wife on Valentine’s Day. He highlights how simple gestures can revive a relationship and emphasizes the significance of investing in love, especially amid the chaos of parenting.
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