At the age of 7, I experienced an unsettling incident with my pediatrician that has left a lasting impact on me. When I tried to tell my mother what had happened, I struggled to find the right words. I could only express my discomfort, insisting that it felt wrong for my doctor to touch me inappropriately during a visit that was supposed to be for a simple cold. The examinations always seemed to drag on longer than necessary, which was my first indication that something was amiss. Each time I was pulled from school for an appointment, I felt a wave of dread wash over me, knowing my mother did not grasp my unease.
Ironically, while my mother took great care to protect my siblings and me in many ways—like waiting six months before allowing my father to change my diaper—she failed to recognize the danger that was occurring right in front of her. The unfortunate truth was that she placed her trust in a doctor over her own daughter.
Eventually, my mother listened to my concerns and switched my pediatrician. With the new doctor, I never faced those troubling experiences again, and I eventually reached an age where I could decide what was acceptable regarding my own body. However, after the revelations surrounding the Olympic doctor scandal, I realized that my experience was far from unique. Society is beginning to acknowledge that doctors are not infallible and that children deserve a voice.
As a mother to a son, I am committed to protecting his body as fiercely as any parent would. I firmly believe that he should not undergo naked physicals until he can clearly express his comfort level. Some may argue that this stance is extreme because a three-year-old cannot fully comprehend bodily autonomy. But I ask, “Why not?”
I make a conscious effort to interact with my son in a way that teaches him that his body is his own. I don’t force him to undress for a bath; instead, I wait until he’s ready, fostering a sense of respect for his own choices. When it comes to potty training, we do not forcibly remove his underwear. At doctor’s appointments, we clearly communicate that we do not want his private areas examined unless absolutely necessary, and our pediatrician has respected that request.
Critics might say that I am hindering my child’s healthcare by not allowing the doctor to perform necessary examinations. To that, I must chuckle. If you believe that a doctor’s job solely revolves around following guidelines to bill insurance, you may be unaware that you can also research what a physical entails. Many doctors do not consider it necessary for children to fully disrobe during check-ups. For example, European practices often differ significantly from American norms in this regard.
In my son’s case, regular examinations of his testicles are unnecessary unless there are specific health concerns. More importantly, I serve as the intermediary between him and his doctor. If I cannot ensure that my son is comfortable with a stranger examining his private parts, I won’t allow it. Forcing him into situations where he feels uneasy could lead him to question why exceptions exist to the rules about his body and whether those exceptions apply to certain individuals, like doctors or family members. This confusion could open the door to harmful situations, which is precisely what I aim to avoid.
You may call me irrational, but I find peace in knowing that my son is learning he has control over his own body. This understanding will extend to respecting others’ autonomy, especially when it comes to girls, who also deserve the right to make choices about their bodies. This is a lesson that some women still fight for today.
It’s never too early to instill these values in boys, and it’s essential to recognize that children have thoughts and feelings, regardless of their age.
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Summary
It’s crucial to prioritize a child’s understanding of bodily autonomy from an early age. By ensuring that children can voice their comfort levels regarding medical examinations, parents can instill confidence and respect for their own bodies. It’s important to recognize that children are individuals with opinions and feelings, deserving of consideration in all situations.
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