As I approached the end of my pregnancy with my first child, a terrifying incident nearly shattered my world. It was a calm December evening when my partner, Jake, left to run a quick errand at the grocery store. Out of nowhere, a reckless driver came barreling towards our little sedan, swerving at the last moment to avoid a collision, only to crash into a nearby hedge. As if that wasn’t enough, the driver proceeded to back up directly towards Jake, who managed to reverse just in time to escape disaster. The police apprehended the drunk driver, but Jake was left shaken. When I heard what happened, I collapsed and sobbed on the floor.
This is the core of my deepest fear — a primal anxiety that many of us with anxiety disorders share. I have a profound fear of cars, and I know I am not alone in this. We may navigate the roads and allow our loved ones to drive, but there’s always that gut-wrenching moment of anxiety, where we swallow back a “please be careful” along with a heartfelt “I love you.” It’s a “goodbye” that feels like it could be the last, leaving us watching our loved ones leave with a desperate desire for one last look.
And when they are late returning, panic sets in. We start making calls, and if there’s no answer, dread creeps in, twisting through our minds and stomachs. We envision them tragically injured on the roadside, bombarded by horrifying images — flashing police lights, a crumpled body against the airbag. I often find myself imagining my little ones’ shoes left behind in the grass of a forgotten median, a haunting thought that lingers.
By the time our loved ones finally walk through the door, late and flustered from traffic, we may be trembling with fear. Our reactions can range from overwhelming relief to a flood of tears or even uncontrolled anger. Because, let’s face it, cars are terrifying.
Statistics amplify this fear. You’re more likely to die in a car accident than in an airplane crash, a terrorist attack, or a violent crime. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration reported that in 2014, there were 32,675 fatalities due to car accidents in the U.S., with nearly a third involving alcohol. Furthermore, 2.34 million individuals were injured in crashes that same year. Those of us with anxiety are acutely aware of these figures, and they haunt us every time we bid farewell to our family or strap our children into their car seats.
We are the ones who meticulously check our mirrors, ensuring no one is next to us before changing lanes. We refuse to change the music on our devices until we reach a red light. High speeds induce fear, especially in states where the 70 mph limit feels more like a suggestion. We avoid distractions while driving, and we obsess over car seat safety (I could go on about my rear-facing four-year-old!).
Our careful behaviors stem from a desire for control. We can adjust the seat straps, resist texting while driving, and double-check before merging into traffic. These actions serve as our protective charms against the unpredictability of the world around us.
A friend of mine was involved in a horrifying accident with a drunk driver one Wednesday morning. Just yesterday, another vehicle nearly merged into me on the interstate. My husband faced a close call on his drive home when another car almost collided with his side. These incidents remind us that we cannot control everything — we can’t prevent accidents unless we keep our loved ones from ever stepping into a vehicle. It’s this powerlessness that sends chills down our spines, the thought that in a single moment, we could lose someone we love.
Managing Anxiety
So, how do we manage this anxiety? First, we must recognize that our fear is not inherently about cars; it’s about the fear of losing control. It’s the anxiety that comes from knowing we can’t predict, fix, or plan every aspect of our lives. This unpredictable nature of loss is daunting, and it’s those fears we need to confront rather than focusing solely on the vehicle itself.
Next, we should work on letting go of that need for control, possibly with the guidance of a therapist. Dr. Amy Johnson suggests embracing the art of surrender — acknowledging that the universe can be a friendly place and that releasing our fear can lead to a sense of freedom. Techniques such as visualization, grounding ourselves in the present, using affirmations, and seeking support can also be beneficial. Remember, you are not alone in this struggle. If you’re looking for more information about pregnancy and home insemination, this is a great resource here.
In conclusion, understanding that we are not alone in our fears and anxieties about cars can be a comforting starting point. For those of us grappling with anxiety, the journey toward relinquishing control is essential.
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