As I was unloading the dishwasher, my two-year-old called out, “Let’s make a zoo! Sit down, Mommy!” Hoping to finally tackle the pile of dishes, I replied, “Just a moment, sweetie.” Before I could finish my thought, my oldest was shouting from the bathroom for help, quickly followed by my youngest demanding to be nursed. In a whirlwind of improvisation, I lost track of both the dishes and the zoo project.
Later, while I was attempting to fold a laundry basket that had been lingering for days, my toddler once again requested a zoo. I repeated my earlier response, “As soon as Mommy is done,” only to be interrupted again by my other children’s needs.
As the evening wrapped up, with dinner cleared and bedtime approaching, my son made one last plea to play zoo with him. He and his overflowing bin of animals had been waiting all day for me to join. In that moment, I realized how desperate he was for my attention. It was a wake-up call, highlighting how I’ve been falling short as a mother lately.
This chaotic life has been intensified since the birth of my third child. I’ve been navigating survival mode, operating on autopilot while battling constant sleep deprivation. I tackle the immediate issues at hand without the capacity to think beyond them. Most days, it feels like I’m just trying to keep my head above water, often overwhelmed by the demands of my children.
It’s a clumsy balancing act, bouncing between kids, with rare moments to address household chores. More often than not, I’m scrambling to find time to use the restroom or locate my lost cup of coffee, likely still sitting in the microwave from multiple reheats.
As the newborn phase begins to fade, I’m becoming more aware of the guilt that comes with parenting. My middle child, in particular, has been earning that title more than ever. Always calm and easy-going, he’s naturally independent and can entertain himself. I now wonder if I’ve taken this trait for granted. With two more demanding siblings, it’s clear he’s getting overlooked amidst the chaos.
The saying about the “squeaky wheel getting the grease” rings true in our household; my oldest and youngest are the loudest, while my middle child quietly waits for attention. Whether or not the concept of middle child syndrome holds validity, I recognize my son’s feelings of being overlooked and invisible compared to his siblings. The firstborn often receives praise for milestones, while the youngest is coddled and spoiled. And then there’s my middle child, sitting with his bin of animals, hoping for his mom to play with him.
I need to make a conscious effort to divide my attention more evenly among my three children. Each has unique needs, and I can no longer afford to overlook my middle child. His voice may not be loud, and he may struggle to articulate his feelings, but as the fog of new parenthood clears, I’m determined to prioritize those moments with him. When he asks me to make a zoo, I’ll be sure to set everything aside to give him the one-on-one time he craves and deserves.
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Summary:
Raising three kids can be overwhelming, especially with a newborn in the mix. The author shares the challenges of balancing attention and care among her children, particularly the struggles of her middle child who often feels overlooked. As she navigates this chaotic phase, she recognizes the need to prioritize one-on-one time with each child to ensure they all feel valued and heard.
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