I’d like to share the heartwarming journey of Max, who became a cherished member of our family during a challenging time. My son, Ethan, has struggled deeply since the passing of his father. Not only has he faced the loss of his role model, but he also finds himself surrounded by a house full of girls. Before his dad’s death, I often referred to them as my “favorite guys.”
“Look at my two favorite guys!” I’d say, entering the living room where they would be engrossed in video games or watching shows that didn’t interest me at all. It was my way of expressing love for both the man I adored and the boy I knew would grow to be just as remarkable.
Ethan’s sense of loss is unique—not greater or worse, but different from what his sisters are experiencing. He feels an added layer of loneliness as a young boy without his dad. He yearns to build fires, learn about tools, play basketball—all the activities boys typically do with their fathers. Although I strive to engage in these activities, I can’t quite fill that role. My maternal instincts often overshadow the “cool dad” moments he longs for.
Ethan’s counselor suggested finding a trusted male friend or neighbor who could spend time with him doing “guy stuff.” While we have fantastic friends and neighbors, their commitments made it difficult to arrange. I spent countless hours pondering solutions and realized what Ethan truly needed was a loyal companion—a buddy he could trust and share his feelings with. A dog!
We already had Bella, our dog, but she was more of a loner—aloof and indifferent to the boys. So I began researching service and therapy dogs. I wondered if there were programs for children dealing with grief or Attention Deficit Disorder. Even though I didn’t find a specific program, I came across studies supporting the idea that a well-trained dog could significantly benefit Ethan, helping him emotionally and assisting with his ADD challenges.
The search began—what breed should we get, rescue or breeder, puppy or older dog? I consulted our vet and gathered a list of questions to consider. I worried, as I often do, about costs, care, and the responsibilities of owning two dogs. The thought consumed me for weeks until one day, I broke down in tears. This was a significant decision, and I wished I could discuss it with my husband. Although I had made big decisions alone before, this felt different. I longed for his input and support.
Two pivotal moments helped solidify my choice to bring Max into our lives. The first was during a parent-teacher conference at Ethan’s school. We witnessed a father and son racing to their car, laughter shared between them. I saw the sadness in Ethan’s eyes as he whispered, “I really miss Daddy.”
The second moment occurred about a week later when the school called, saying Ethan was inconsolable. Initially, I assumed it was a friend-related issue. However, when I picked him up, he revealed through tears, “We had a soccer pro in PE class, and I remembered how Daddy used to take me to soccer.” His heartache was palpable.
That day, I canceled all my plans and focused solely on comforting him. It reminded me of the importance of being present during times of grief. This was my “real job,” and it was essential.
With all this in mind, I decided to get a male dog for Ethan. While I typically support adopting rescue dogs, I needed to know this dog’s background and temperament. I eventually found a reputable breeder who collaborated with a non-profit that trains service dogs for veterans and children with autism.
I involved Ethan in every step of the process, wanting him to feel ownership and responsibility from the start. I explained to my daughters, Lily and Ava, that this dog would be Ethan’s. He would choose the name and lead the training.
When Ethan met Max for the first time, tears streamed down his cheeks. “What’s wrong?” I asked, concerned. He buried his face in the puppy’s fur and exclaimed, “Tears of JOY!”
Since bringing Max home, the positive impact has been tremendous—not just for Ethan, but for our whole family. Max has filled our lives with love and joy, offering Ethan a companion he can share his feelings with. I’ve witnessed countless moments of laughter and happiness from him since Max became part of our lives.
In times of loneliness or sadness, loving and caring for someone else can fill our hearts with joy. I now find myself saying, “Look at my favorite boys!” as they bond and create new memories together.
For those exploring similar journeys, check out this resource for valuable insights on home insemination, or consider this guide from experts in the field.
In summary, the arrival of Max has not only aided Ethan’s healing process but has also brought our family closer together. Through the love and companionship of a dog, we’ve all found a brighter path forward.
Leave a Reply