Every day on the drive home, I find myself asking my kids, “How was your day?” Unfortunately, the response is always a lackluster “Good.” That’s the extent of it. Frustrated, I devised a two-part strategy to encourage them to open up.
The first part of my plan was a bit of a gamble. Last fall, I decided to eliminate all electronics from the dinner table—no TV, no phones, no tablets, absolutely nothing. Honestly, I should have made this decision ages ago. Up until then, our dinners had been filled with my kids glued to their devices. Initially, they weren’t thrilled about the change; there may have been some tears. But the results have been amazing! Now we share our meals with our full attention on each other, creating space for real conversations. Part 1 was a success!
The second part of my plan aimed to dive deeper into meaningful discussions. I wanted to know more than just surface-level details. So, I started asking questions—lots of them! After countless Google searches and brainstorming sessions, I compiled a list of questions that led to engaging conversations. Some nights, we spend the entire dinner just asking and answering questions. It’s a refreshing change from the silence that used to fill our table.
If you’re looking to ignite discussions at your own dinner table, here are some thought-provoking questions that have worked wonders for me with my little ones:
- What was the highlight of your day?
- What was the most challenging task you faced today?
- Can you share a moment when you showed kindness today?
- Who did you play with today, and what did you do?
- How has this year been different from last year?
- What rules do you think are different at school compared to home? Why?
- Who do you sit with at lunch?
- Describe yourself in five words.
- What activity brings you the most joy?
- What’s the most amazing thing that has happened to you?
- What about the worst experience? What lesson did it teach you?
- If you could go back three years and give your younger self some advice, what would it be?
- What are you most thankful for?
- Who is your best friend and why?
- If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?
Of course, you won’t want to ask the same questions every night. Many times, we don’t even make it through the entire list because dinner can wrap up quickly. But there are evenings when we linger at the table long after the food is gone—those are the best nights! Feel free to borrow these questions or come up with your own. Keep them positive and stimulating; it’s truly exciting to hear their perspectives.
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In summary, fostering meaningful conversations with your children can be as simple as asking the right questions. It takes a bit of effort to create an environment free from distractions, but the rewards are well worth it.
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