As a mother of a child with a learning disability, I often find myself navigating through careless comments from those who don’t understand our struggles. My son, full of potential and determination, faces learning challenges that make school a battlefield. Despite his brilliance, he often brings home poor grades due to misunderstandings with written instructions or number reversals—issues that are all too common for him.
Thanks to the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), he has an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) that provides him with necessary tools and accommodations. However, it’s the thoughtless remarks that catch me off guard, often thrown out during casual conversations at school events or birthday parties, and shockingly, they often come from other parents.
“Can you believe my second-grader reads better than his fifth-grade buddy?” they casually say. I respond with a simple, “Oh, that’s interesting,” while internally I am thinking, “My fifth-grader struggles significantly, so maybe it’s him you’re inadvertently criticizing.”
Another parent might lament, “My daughter isn’t in the top spelling group; I’m meeting with her teacher.” I maintain a neutral expression, but inside I’m questioning if they expect sympathy from me. My son just moved up to the lowest spelling group, and we celebrated that achievement!
We don’t even bother cramming for spelling tests any longer. My son dedicates several hours each week in preparation, acutely aware that many classmates don’t study at all. Thanks for the reminder of how hard he works for a grade that’s still below theirs.
Then there’s the parent who says, “My daughter reads at a 9th-grade level; it’s tough to find challenging books for her.” I want to back away slowly; their words hit hard.
I may come across as overly sensitive, but consider this: about 15-20% of the population experiences language-based learning disabilities, according to the International Dyslexia Association. Your casual comments can inflict wounds that remain unseen. Many children find school challenging enough without reminders of how effortlessly others excel.
So, to all the adults out there, please think before you speak. Your words can hurt more than you realize.
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Summary
Careless comments from parents can be painful for those with children facing learning disabilities. These remarks often highlight the struggles of our kids and can chip away at their self-esteem. It’s crucial to be mindful of our words, as many children are already navigating a challenging educational landscape.
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