Parenting
By Emma Jacobs
Updated: April 10, 2019
Originally Published: April 8, 2018
Recently, a relative reached out to ask about what toys my kids were currently interested in. I found myself at a loss for words. After a brief pause, I admitted, “They don’t really play with toys anymore.”
Internally, I was in full-blown panic mode (Please, for the love of all that is good, don’t add to the toy mountain in my home!). My living space resembles an episode of Hoarders: Toy Edition, and I dread the thought of squeezing one more toy into the chaos. Just the other night, I stumbled over a decapitated action figure and a plastic trinket, both remnants of forgotten playtimes.
To be honest, the toys are gathering dust, and I could hardly say my kids are attached to them. My relative seemed baffled and a bit annoyed that I couldn’t provide them with a toy suggestion. Do my kids enjoy toys? Sure, for a fleeting moment. Do they actually play with them? Not so much.
We have a few go-to items like Legos, costumes for dress-up, and Matchbox cars, but my kids usually prefer other activities—screen time, bouncing on the trampoline, or playing outdoors with friends. At ages 10, 8, and 5, they rarely spend time tinkering with the plethora of toys they own.
So please, I’m genuinely asking—don’t buy my kids any more toys. I’ve spent countless hours sorting through toy bins, donating items, and the truth is, my kids never miss them. Sure, they might grumble for a moment, but I’ve yet to hear them lament about that rubber ball they received ages ago.
Somehow, it seems like the previous generation clings to the idea that children need toys more than they actually do. It’s like needing a trip to the grocery store with three kids on a Saturday—clearly, it’s not a necessity.
I think back to how my mom saved our childhood toys, hoping one day we’d appreciate them. Do I feel nostalgic about my old toys? Occasionally, but that doesn’t mean I wish I still had them.
I sometimes worry my kids will hold a grudge for donating items they once begged for. For example, I vividly remember my youngest son, Max, raving about a massive toy truck while I was shopping for clothes. I caved and bought it, only for it to become just another dust collector in the corner of the playroom.
When my kids announce they’re bored, I suggest some of the toys they once couldn’t live without. “How about your tow truck?” I might cheerfully offer, only to be met with blank stares as they try to recall which toy I’m referencing. “You know, the one from Santa last year?” Nothing. “The one with the crane?” Finally, a flicker of recognition, followed by, “Nah, I don’t like that truck anymore.” And just like that, I’m reminded that kids often don’t hold on to these things like we think they do.
They’re simply conditioned to believe that accumulating toys (or other stuff) is the ultimate goal, and frankly, I’m tired of perpetuating that myth. Plus, I can’t stand my home resembling a giant landfill of forgotten toys.
So, I kindly ask you—please refrain from gifting my kids any more toys, no matter how amazing you think they are. They won’t cherish it as a special memory tied to you. Instead, consider this: spend quality time with them. Take them out for ice cream, enjoy a day at the zoo, or have fun at the park nearby. Those moments will mean so much more than any toy, and they’ll create lasting memories.
If you’re still inclined to give something tangible, consider a book that was meaningful to you as a child. Write a note about why you love it on the inside cover, and then read it to them. You can never have too many books!
Focus on experiences instead. My kids adore trips to the zoo and museums, as well as community education classes and music lessons. Support their interests and help them explore the world rather than add to their collection of toys. You’ll get bonus points if you join them in these activities, but even if you can’t, I’ll remind them of the thoughtful gift you provided.
Ultimately, none of us really need more “stuff.” While there are certainly people in need, my kids aren’t among them. I’m trying to teach them gratitude for what they have, but that’s a challenge when they’re constantly being spoiled with toys.
So please, let’s stop showering my kids with the latest gadgets or trinkets, hoping to strengthen your relationship with them. Instead, spend time together, watching them play outside or engaging in an art class. I refuse to buy a bigger house just to accommodate another oversized toy that will be forgotten in a week.
Summary:
In today’s world, many children accumulate toys that go unused and forgotten. Instead of buying more toys for kids, consider offering experiences or meaningful items like books. Spending quality time together creates lasting memories that far outweigh the temporary joy of a new toy. Let’s shift our focus from material possessions to meaningful connections.
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