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Parenting
A Salute to All the Incredible Single Parents
by Emily Carter
Updated: March 21, 2023
Originally Published: March 19, 2023
National Single Parent Day falls on March 21st, and it’s got me reflecting. If only I could gather all the single parents for a warm embrace, a delightful box of chocolates, and a day off to do whatever their hearts desire. While that’s not feasible, I want to share a few thoughts:
As a fellow single parent, I see you. I understand that there are times when you question how you’ve come this far, or how you’ll keep pushing forward. Yet, you know you will; it’s simply in your nature. You look at your children and realize that you are committed to giving your all, day after day.
It’s natural to have moments when your heart feels heavy, and you wonder if love is in your future again. You might think it’s best to concentrate solely on your kids and career, keeping yourself closed off from new relationships. I know you sometimes feel guilty for even considering letting someone else into your life.
There are days when you desperately wish for an extra pair of hands to help with after-school activities, bedtime rituals, and those long nights spent caring for your sick little ones. Keeping track of everything on your own can feel overwhelming, and you might worry about what others think of your parenting. However, the truth is that you are fighting hard just to stay afloat, and that struggle can be painful.
I recognize that being away from your children for extended periods can be heart-wrenching. Holidays may seem unbearable, and there are times you find yourself longing for the past, even if it means accepting a relationship that wasn’t right for you. But you won’t go back because you value yourself too much, and that is a remarkable strength.
You have moments of joy, and on those days, you realize that you are doing a commendable job as a parent. Sure, guilt may creep in, making you ponder whether you could have done more, or if staying in your previous situation would have been better. But then, there are those times when you embrace your new reality, feeling empowered and unshakeable.
You may fluctuate from feelings of freedom to moments of despair, and you miss having an adult to converse with over dinner. You’re carrying both parental roles, which can be exhausting. Yet, there are also times when you appreciate the autonomy of making decisions solely for yourself—whether that’s enjoying a lazy day with snacks or relishing the control over the TV remote and thermostat.
You might see families crossing the street and feel a pang of longing. Couples holding hands can spark thoughts of “this won’t last forever.” It’s hard not to feel jaded, even if you don’t want to be.
Your capacity to feel has deepened since becoming a single parent. Some days you welcome those feelings; other days, they frustrate you. You wish for the ease of letting things roll off your back, as they once did when you had a partner. But now, things are different—you are transformed.
You embody strength and vulnerability. You experience joy and sadness. You are the yin to your own yang, all of these things because you have to be, but more importantly, because you are incredibly resilient. You’re navigating through this challenging journey with courage.
Some days, the thought of checking out seems appealing, while other days, you’re fully present. Balance has been thrown off course, yet you strive to find it amid the chaos. You are not alone in this journey.
Look at your achievements—how you are reshaping your life and growing through the storm. You are remarkable, and I see you. So, take a moment—today, tomorrow, or perhaps next week—to celebrate yourself. Remember to do it again. You are worthy of happiness. And yes, the greatest gift you can offer your children is a joyful parent, but learning to care for yourself is a valuable gift as well. Just because you’re navigating this path alone doesn’t mean you should neglect your own needs.
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Summary:
This article is a heartfelt acknowledgment of the challenges and triumphs faced by single parents. It emphasizes the importance of self-care and recognizing personal achievements, while also validating the emotions that come with single parenting. The journey is complex, filled with highs and lows, but ultimately, it highlights the resilience and strength of those navigating this path alone.
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