In the early days of my marriage, unsolicited advice was a constant annoyance. Friends, family, and even strangers felt compelled to share their wisdom, assuming that being married made them experts on the subject. Most of the guidance we received was less than useful—except for one memorable encounter.
We met this couple during our honeymoon, and looking back, their words seem almost prophetic. While enjoying cocktails at sunset, an elderly man, gazing lovingly at his wife of over fifty years, remarked, “No matter how deeply you believe you love each other now, wait. One day, you’ll realize your love has evolved.” They congratulated us and walked away.
At the time, I scoffed at what I perceived as grim advice. It topped my list of strange and unhelpful marriage tips. However, as the years have passed and life has unfolded, I’ve come to see this statement as profoundly insightful.
Sitting in the emergency room, watching my partner hold our son, I was reminded of that conversation. It’s the anniversary of our engagement, and as I reflect on the past ten years, I can’t help but recognize the truth in those words. Our son, suffering from a painful condition, rests against his father as soft music fills the air. Despite being in a hospital, they appear so calm, so normal. In this moment, I finally understand what that couple meant: my love for you has transformed.
Here’s the crucial part: when they said we wouldn’t love each other “like” we once did, it struck me that they didn’t mean to imply we’d love less. Rather, they were highlighting that love itself evolves. Over time, as life presents new challenges, our love adapts and shifts. It’s an inevitable process.
Today, I love you as much as I did when we exchanged vows, but the reasons have changed. I appreciate qualities in you that I once found frustrating. Your calm demeanor, which drove me crazy in our early years, has become a source of comfort. I remember a time when I would have preferred you to react more emotionally. But now, I see that your steadiness is what grounds our family.
The birth of our first child marked a turning point. While I was engulfed in fear and anxiety, you remained composed and focused. You researched our son’s condition, asking the right questions and ensuring he received the best care possible. In those moments of chaos, your calm has been my refuge.
As I walked around the ER, I had to step away to compose myself so our little one wouldn’t see my tears. Your presence calmed him, and he felt safe. I once wished for more excitement from you, but now I am grateful for your level-headedness. You provide stability amidst the unpredictability of life with two children facing health challenges.
With each passing year, I look forward to discovering new aspects of you that I may have overlooked in the past. I know that my love will continue to evolve, and while I might not love you “like” I do now, I anticipate that love will only deepen.
In conclusion, the journey of marriage is continuous, filled with twists and turns. As we navigate parenthood and the challenges that come with it, I am thankful for who you are and the balance you bring to our family.
For those considering parenthood, resources like CDC’s page on assisted reproductive technology and Make A Mom’s guide to at-home insemination kits and 21-piece insemination kits are invaluable.
Summary
Marriage is a transformative journey where love evolves over time. The qualities that once frustrated can become sources of comfort, and understanding this evolution is essential for a lasting relationship. As life changes, so does love, allowing for deeper connections and appreciation.
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