The moment I learned the gender of my sons, my mind was flooded with name possibilities. For my first son, the name was a definite choice: Alexander, after my cherished maternal grandfather who had passed away a few years earlier. However, selecting a middle name was more challenging. We considered my paternal grandfather’s name but also entertained the idea of my husband’s grandfather, someone who was particularly significant to him.
In our excitement, we shared our naming ideas with family. Everyone had strong feelings about the middle name—some opinions were heartfelt, while others were a mix of tears and passionate pleas. I realized, albeit too late, how much pressure I was under from certain relatives regarding our choices. Ultimately, we went with my husband’s grandfather’s name as the middle name. It was a combination of what we liked best and the emotional connections involved, but it also stemmed from guilt and familial pressure.
What I didn’t anticipate was this early experience with name discussions would be my introduction to the unsolicited and often intense opinions about parenting that family members would express—from sleeping patterns to feeding habits. Over time, I grew more resilient and confident in my parenting decisions, but when it came to naming our second child, I made the same error—I involved family again in the naming process.
Why hadn’t I learned from my previous experience? This time, our choices were devoid of any deceased relatives—just simple, classic names. We considered names like Jack, Charlie, and Henry. We were particularly fond of Henry, as we had been reading The Chronicles of Narnia to our older son, and the character of King Henry resonated with us. However, when we mentioned “Henry” to our family, reactions ranged from mild indifference to outright disdain. One family member even implored us not to choose that name.
I found myself overwhelmed by the negativity and retreated to the bathroom, where I let my emotions out. It felt dramatic, but I was deeply affected by how harshly my beloved name was dismissed. Hormones were running high, and that very night, my labor began.
While the naming drama didn’t overshadow the birth experience, it lingered in the background. When my baby was finally born, his adorable little features made us affectionately call him “Squishy.” But when our older son arrived to meet his new brother, he promptly asked what we had decided. When we confessed that we hadn’t settled on a name yet, he looked at us incredulously and declared, “His name is Henry!” That moment sealed the deal, and we happily accepted his suggestion. Surprisingly, once Henry arrived, none of the dissenting family members brought up their previous objections again.
In retrospect, I don’t entirely fault my family for expressing their opinions; they were simply sharing their thoughts. However, we shouldn’t have opened the door to those discussions in the first place. Ultimately, the decision of what to name your child should rest solely with you and your partner, if applicable. Other people’s opinions are irrelevant. We’re not talking about naming the child something outrageous or inappropriate; it’s simply a name.
If given the chance to do it all over again, I would keep my naming decisions completely private—not sharing a single detail with anyone. For additional insights on naming choices and how to navigate family opinions, you can read more on Rmany’s blog. If you’re also looking for ways to enhance your fertility journey, consider exploring this article on fertility supplements.
Summary
Sharing baby names with family can lead to unexpected pressure and strong opinions, which may complicate the naming process. Parents should feel empowered to make their own choices without external influence. Ultimately, the decision should be between the parents, as the name holds significant meaning for the family.
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