As the clock strikes 11 PM, I finally find a moment to breathe. After my children have made their rounds out of bed a staggering number of times, I’m left with a body that craves rest but a mind riddled with anxiety. Thoughts swirl around in my head—errands left undone, tasks piling up, and the constant feeling of inadequacy. I strive to be the perfect mother and wife while balancing the demands of work. Yet, I find myself falling short in my role as a friend.
This isn’t an attempt to justify my shortcomings. If I can carve out time for a Netflix binge, I should certainly be able to respond to your message. However, life has a way of intervening, and here are just a few reasons why my responses may have been delayed:
- I meant to reach out, but it was 6 AM—when most people are still asleep.
- My phone went missing in the chaos.
- Our cat decided to leave an unpleasant surprise on the floor.
- A child, too, contributed to the mess.
- I had a mental reply ready but forgot to send it.
- I didn’t even remember to respond in my mind before the thought slipped away.
- My child commandeered my phone so I could enjoy a brief moment of silence.
- I promised myself I’d text when I had a free moment, but that moment never materialized.
- Someone flooded the toilet once again.
- By the time I remembered, I was drifting off to sleep.
- Anxiety can paralyze me, making it difficult to reach out even when I want to.
The list goes on, a testament to how life can complicate even the simplest of tasks. It’s not that I don’t value my friendships; rather, I’m often overwhelmed. I still deeply care for my friends, and in times of crisis, I would be there without hesitation. However, keeping up with everyday interactions has become a challenge.
Friendships in our 20s felt so effortless; we had the luxury of time and energy. We could enjoy nights out, embracing spontaneity and sleeping off hangovers without a second thought. Fast forward to our 30s, and we find ourselves exchanging texts and making plans, most of which we know may fall through. When we do manage to get together, we cherish every moment, but we’re often back home and in bed by 10 PM, tired from the demands of family life.
Most of us can’t recall the last time we enjoyed an uninterrupted night’s sleep. We’re all in search of a balance that accommodates our families, careers, and personal well-being. When I do find a rare moment of solitude, I prefer to spend it in quiet reflection, listening to music, and avoiding conversation—it’s blissful.
As mothers, we dedicate ourselves to our families, prioritizing our children’s needs above our own. The truth is, we often reserve a mere fraction of our time for self-care. Yes, sometimes that self-care involves indulging in a Netflix binge or raiding the fridge after the kids have gone to bed. It’s essential to replenish our spirits so we can continue to give.
I want to reaffirm my love for my friends, even if my priorities have shifted while navigating the challenges of raising young children and maintaining my marriage. This phase is temporary; soon, our children will become more independent, freeing up time for socializing. So, please don’t forget about me or assume I’ve forgotten you. Once the haze lifts and I can finally catch my breath, I’ll be eager for coffee dates with my closest friends.
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In summary, I acknowledge my shortcomings as a friend and hope you can understand that this stage of my life is merely a chapter in my journey. With a little patience, I look forward to reconnecting.
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