As my son Lucas grows, the differences in his development compared to his peers become increasingly evident. His lack of verbal communication stands out the most, a reality that weighs heavily on my heart. Each time I hear my younger son, Ethan, call for me, I experience a mix of joy and sadness. It leaves me wishing for the day when Lucas might find his voice, just like Ethan. We live in a complex emotional landscape; how can I fully embrace these moments when I yearn for similar interactions with Lucas?
In addition to autism, Lucas faces challenges with childhood apraxia of speech (CAS). Many people are less familiar with apraxia than with autism, making it a unique struggle for us. Lucas desperately wants to communicate, but CAS creates a disconnect between his brain and his ability to produce speech sounds consistently. Essentially, while his mind knows what he wants to express, he struggles to coordinate the necessary mouth movements to form words.
To support Lucas’s communication, we introduced sign language into our daily routines. He has learned two signs: “more” and “all done.” These signs have profoundly impacted our interactions. Prior to this, knowing his wants and needs often felt like an exercise in guessing. With these two signs, we gained some insight into his desires, but we realized more was necessary for effective communication.
Over time, Lucas has started to use the sign for “more” to indicate “I want.” For instance, when he enjoys a cookie and signs for “more,” it’s clear he desires another. However, when he points to the bathtub and signs “more,” he’s expressing a wish for a bath. Recognizing these different contexts highlighted the need for a more comprehensive communication method.
As parents, we often grapple with self-doubt when making choices for our children. Questions abound from the day of conception: What should our birth plan entail? Will we breastfeed or use formula? What school will our child attend? For families of children with special needs, these decisions can feel more consequential. We constantly wonder about the timing of our choices—will we be too late or too hasty?
This year, after much consideration, my husband and I decided to create a communication book with Lucas’s teacher. A part of us hesitated, holding on to the hope that he might eventually speak. However, we realized that denying him a better means of communication wasn’t fair.
We filled the book with real images of items Lucas interacts with daily, including his favorite snacks, toys, and even pictures of spaces like our backyard and his bedroom. Initially, he could only focus on a handful of pictures, but now, he can flip through the book and select what he wants. It’s heartwarming yet heartbreaking to think about how long he might have been trapped in silence, unable to express his needs.
Recently, during a therapy session, Lucas became upset while working with his ABA therapist. It was late afternoon, and he had come home from a long day at school filled with therapy and activities. Normally, he gets up before dawn for school, and like any child, he sometimes just wants to relax at home.
That day was special. Lucas had his communication book and, while flipping through it, arrived at a page featuring pictures of our family, including my husband, myself, and his brother. To my astonishment, he chose to hand his therapist my picture and then his dad’s. For the first time, Lucas had used his communication book to ask for us.
At just three years old, he could have requested anything from ice cream to playing outside, but instead, he wanted his mom and dad. It was a profound reminder that his needs mirror those of any other child. Sometimes, a child simply wants their parents—and as parents, we crave that validation too. While Lucas reaches for us in his own way, knowing he can communicate like others do is a moment we cherish. For now, we will revel in this bittersweet yet beautiful reality together.
If you’re interested in more on family planning and parenting, check out our other blog post on the home insemination kit, a useful resource for those considering various paths to parenthood. For more information on enhancing fertility, visit Boost Fertility Supplements, an authority in this area. Additionally, the CDC provides excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
This article shares the journey of a parent navigating the complexities of raising a nonverbal child with autism and childhood apraxia of speech. It highlights the emotional struggles, the introduction of sign language, the creation of a communication book, and a poignant moment when the child successfully communicated a desire for his parents.
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