Navigating the Challenges: What Moms of Boys with Long Hair Often Hear

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During my pregnancy, I attended a new mom orientation that left much to be desired. Among the many topics omitted, I was unprepared for the backlash I would face for not cutting my son’s hair. Believe me when I say that the reactions I’ve encountered regarding my son’s hairstyle have been nothing short of astonishing. Friends, family, and even strangers have felt compelled to share their unsolicited opinions. Here are some of the comments I’ve grown weary of hearing:

1. “Oh, your daughter is so adorable!”
   At two years old, my son doesn’t exhibit the typical markers of gender. He lacks a mustache or the physique of an older boy. Yet, why is it that people only comment on his beauty when he’s dressed in camo or a shirt that screams “little man”?
2. “I said it because he looks like a girl.” (The Retort)
   When I correct someone’s assumption about my son’s gender, they often respond, “I thought he was a girl because he’s so pretty.” This raises a confusing point. Boys can certainly be beautiful, just as girls can. Why can’t we envision a world where boys with long hair are recognized for their beauty too?
3. “Can I touch his hair?”
   Children are not pets. Asking to touch a child’s hair—regardless of its texture—is inappropriate. The first time it happened to my son, it left me both shocked and upset. Other moms, like Lisa, who has a son with curly hair, echo my sentiments about how invasive this question feels.
4. “He would look like a big boy with a haircut.”
   He’s two! Regardless of his hairstyle, he remains a toddler with a cherubic face and a body that’s a delightful blend of baby and boy. There’s no need to rush this stage of his life.
5. Jokes about a surprise haircut.
   Some friends have jokingly asked what would happen if they babysat and decided to give him a haircut. The answer is simple: I would be very upset! Until my son can make his own choices, my husband and I are the primary decision-makers regarding his appearance.
6. “When will he get a haircut?”
   That question is as intrusive as asking someone about their financial troubles or personal hygiene. My son’s hair is well-maintained, and he looks just as polished as any other child his age. Unsolicited comments about his hair are unwarranted.
7. “You’re letting a child decide when to cut his hair?!”
   Part of authoritative parenting involves allowing children to make reasonable choices about their appearance. My son enjoys his hair and the way it curls. As long as he is happy, we are happy. “We won’t cut it unless he asks us to,” says Lisa, another mother navigating this journey. We’ve even adopted the term “trim” at his request, as it helps to keep his hair healthy.

Ultimately, I refuse to let societal standards dictate my son’s expression of identity. As long as his hair is cared for and well-groomed, we don’t need outside opinions. Parents of long-haired boys have this covered.

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In summary, the journey of a mom with a son who has long hair can be filled with unsolicited advice and commentary. However, as parents, we have the right to make choices that reflect our values and our child’s happiness.