Last night, we enjoyed dinner at my mother’s house—something I had been eagerly anticipating for days. There’s something indulgent about having a meal prepared by someone else.
During the car ride, I had a serious chat with my kids about good manners. Although they are older now, they still need nudges on how to act respectfully as guests.
However, as soon as we settled down to a lovely meal, the conversation took a turn to bathroom habits. I shot them my best “You better stop right now” look, but they completely ignored me, almost challenging me to try again. So I had to use my words and make it clear that they needed to cut it out.
This strategy worked for a staggering two minutes before they started misbehaving again. Then my youngest sprawled on the floor, whining about dessert like a wild animal. That was it—I snapped and yelled, and wouldn’t you know, they actually listened for once.
My kids often ask why I raise my voice so much. When we’re out, I have no qualms about turning up the volume if that’s what it takes to get their attention. If they’re going to act out, I’m going to call them on it, and I won’t shy away from embarrassing them.
I can’t comprehend why it seems necessary for parents to lose their tempers to be taken seriously. It’s a well-known truth that family members only pay attention when we’re on the brink of losing control.
Much chaos could be avoided—especially my hoarseness and their lost screen time—if they would just listen the first time. Or if they’d stop misbehaving the moment I gave them “the look.”
For some reason, warnings rarely work. Instead, it seems like we have to escalate our volume to be seen and heard, and we do it because, darn it, we deserve to be acknowledged.
Moms find themselves repeating the same things and questioning how their families still don’t understand how to prevent making us explode. Life would be infinitely simpler if they didn’t make us shift from calm to furious in mere seconds—it really seems that straightforward.
No amount of taking away electronics or snacks seems to have a lasting impact. They either forget the consequences or simply don’t care enough, opting instead for the fleeting thrill of bad behavior.
A few weeks ago, I had a meltdown in a store because my kids were acting like total terrors. I told them I think they enjoy it when I lose my cool and take things away from them. If they truly didn’t, surely they would start behaving better to avoid the drama.
They know that, regardless of how loud I get, I usually come out on top in the end. I just don’t understand why they insist on pushing me to my limits, making everything worse for everyone involved.
After 15 years of parenting, I remain hopeful that they will eventually have that lightbulb moment and realize that life would be much more enjoyable for all of us if they just followed the rules.
In the meantime, I’ll be over here, losing my voice.
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Summary
Parenting can be a struggle, especially when it feels like you have to raise your voice to be heard. It’s frustrating when kids ignore warnings and prompts, forcing us to escalate our responses. With hope, we look forward to a day when they will realize that following the rules leads to a more harmonious household.
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