Let’s be honest: my little one is a true night owl. My son has never been able to fall asleep before 9 p.m. It’s just not in his nature, and it never has been.
When he was a baby, I desperately tried to establish a sleep routine, but it felt impossible. I spent weeks worrying and stressing about it until I finally decided to embrace his natural rhythm. The later bedtime seemed to make him more at ease, and while it wasn’t a perfect solution, it definitely reduced our nightly struggles. He clearly preferred staying up late, and since I share that trait, it didn’t bother me too much. I find it hard to relate to parents who manage to get their kids in bed by 7:30 p.m.; our lifestyle simply didn’t accommodate that.
During his early years, I worked as a babysitter and often took him along. My afternoon shifts made it virtually impossible to establish a consistent nap schedule. Whenever we traveled, napping on the go was a challenge. He was always too curious to miss out on any action around him. Attempts to get him to nap at my babysitting jobs were futile; he was far too occupied playing with his little friends.
This constant activity meant that by the time we headed home, he was utterly exhausted. If he napped in the evening, it was clear that an early bedtime was out of the question. I realized that I had to accept this reality, even if I longed for a few hours of peace before sleep.
Eventually, I stopped working afternoons, but by then, we had developed some pretty entrenched habits. After a year of late naps, his body had adjusted to a much later sleep schedule. Despite my efforts to encourage earlier bedtimes or skip naps, he always seemed to stay up as long as anyone else was awake.
For a while, he would fall asleep well into the night. If I had an early morning commitment, my sleep was severely compromised. I remember one particular morning when he took so long to settle down that I decided it wasn’t worth it to sleep at all since I had to get up in less than an hour. It was challenging, but I knew change would take time.
Once he stopped napping, it became significantly easier to get him to bed before midnight. A recent move that shifted us into a new time zone helped too. However, our schedule didn’t suddenly align with the idea of a 7:00 p.m. bedtime. His dad works during the day, and since we’re apart, their only time together is in the evenings.
When I enrolled him in preschool, the only available slots were for late afternoon sessions. This arrangement works for me since I’m busy during the day, but it means we don’t get home until around 7 p.m. After that, there’s dinner, snacks, and sometimes bath time. Fitting all of that into just an hour is simply not feasible.
Now, I attempt to enforce a bedtime for him, which typically falls between 9:00 and 9:30 p.m., unless we’re out or I’m not around. While I give him a bit of flexibility, my goal is to have him asleep by midnight. By that point, he’s usually so tired that I can’t deal with his antics any longer. For many, a bedtime that late might seem excessive for a 4-year-old, but without any early morning obligations, it works perfectly for us. Being a night owl myself, I still carve out a few hours each night to unwind and catch up on tasks that I can’t tackle while he’s awake. He manages to get a solid amount of sleep, averaging between 10 and 12 hours nightly. Even if he had to wake up early, he’d still be well-rested.
A common question I receive is, “What will happen when he starts school?” Honestly, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. I believe he’ll adapt quickly to a new sleep schedule. Until then, my little night owl will continue to thrive.
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In summary, my child’s late bedtime is a natural fit for our family’s lifestyle. Accepting his night owl tendencies has allowed us both to thrive, and it’s a balance that works for our unique circumstances.
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