Perhaps it’s a beloved, worn-out teddy bear or a well-loved, slightly odorous blanket that you struggle to sneak away for a wash. For my youngest child, it was a plush character from a popular show, with its features faded and its appearance resembling something out of a horror movie. But you likely had your own version, too—a ragged bear or a series of blankets that were essential for a good night’s sleep. Your parents probably had similar thoughts: “This is so embarrassing. When will they let go of that thing? Could it mean they’ll grow up to have issues?”
Relax, parents.
Research shows that in Western cultures, where children often sleep alone from a young age, over 70% develop a strong attachment to comfort objects like stuffed animals or blankets. According to findings published in The Guardian, kids often believe these items hold a unique essence or “life force,” much like art enthusiasts favoring originals over replicas. Children tend to prefer their own comfort items over identical substitutes, reinforcing this bond.
Fortunately, most parents are generally supportive of their child’s attachment to these objects. A study in Child Psychiatry and Human Development found that while there are varying opinions about the appropriate age to give up comfort items, most parents respect their child’s needs. So if you’re worried about what others might think because your “big kid” still has a blanket or teddy in tow, know that many of us understand.
Moreover, a study from 1998 indicated that children who bonded with a “transitional object” exhibited better mother-child relationships than those who did not. So, yes, go ahead and celebrate that beloved blanky!
However, it’s worth noting that the same study also pointed out that teens who still cling to such objects might exhibit more mental health symptoms. If you have concerns as your child grows, it could be beneficial to discuss it with a pediatrician.
Comfort objects can also ease anxiety for children. We all know the feeling of wanting to take that special item to daycare (I can still remember doing it myself). A 1993 study highlighted that these items can help ease transitions during mildly stressful situations. When mom isn’t around, teddy is there to help—what a relief!
This attachment often stems from the experience of sleeping alone, which is more common in Western societies. A 2003 study showed that 62% of American children had comfort objects, while only 38% of Japanese children did, likely due to differing sleeping arrangements with parents.
While I co-slept with my children until they were around two, my youngest still formed a strong bond with a comfort item. This suggests that having a beloved object isn’t necessarily a reflection of parenting style.
Interestingly, research from 2004 indicated that children who were raised with attachment parenting methods—like breastfeeding on demand and co-sleeping—were less likely to use comfort objects. Those who did were able to wean off them sooner, suggesting that these children may have replaced their comfort items with the closeness of their mother.
Remember, it’s perfectly normal for older children to still want their blankies or teddies. Dr. Samara, a child psychologist, encourages parents to set boundaries while allowing their child to retain their comfort object at home. If your 8-year-old drags a blanket into a store, it’s not the end of the world. They will likely outgrow this phase naturally, and you can help by frequently washing the item to encourage them to move on. If you have concerns, consulting a child psychologist might offer additional support.
Most importantly, a study from 1987 found no correlation between children who own comfort objects and feelings of insecurity or fearfulness. So let your kids enjoy their teddies and blankets; they won’t be taking them down the aisle on their wedding day. However, if they still cling to these items at age fifteen, a conversation with a professional might be in order as a precaution.
In conclusion, it’s perfectly normal for older children to have attachments to comfort objects like teddy bears and blankets. These items can provide emotional support and reassurance, and they typically phase out of use naturally as kids grow. If concerns arise, consider discussing them with a child specialist.
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