By: Kendra Williams
Updated: Aug. 25, 2018
Originally Published: Aug. 24, 2018
I breastfed my daughter until she was nearly four years old. It was predominantly a wonderful experience, and I continued because it provided her with a level of comfort that nothing else could. However, as she grew from an infant into a toddler, the challenge of nursing increased significantly. If anyone claims that mothers choose to extend breastfeeding solely for their own benefit, it’s clear they’ve never navigated the reality of it.
As a toddler, my daughter was a bundle of energy, unable to sit still for even a moment. Nursing became a spectacle, with her twisting and turning like a gymnast mid-routine while still latched on. Every time I tried to hold her, there would be arms and legs flailing about, making the experience anything but relaxing. You know those videos of fish flopping on a boat? That’s honestly how nursing a toddler feels.
Moreover, toddlers are easily distracted. While my daughter wanted to nurse, there was always something more captivating nearby. If I attempted to let her go explore, she’d cling to me even tighter, which was both amusing and frustrating.
As she grew, she became quite the hefty little one, all limbs and energy. It wasn’t as easy for her to curl up in my arms anymore. When I was on my phone, there was constant movement, a stark contrast to the peaceful, cozy moments of nursing when she was a smaller baby. Though nursing wasn’t as adorable as it once was, she still required that emotional connection and security it provided. I was committed to breastfeeding for as long as she needed, but it definitely became more demanding.
Any mother who has nursed a toddler knows the feeling of being completely touched out. If I sat down for more than a few minutes without appearing busy, my little one would quickly come over, ready to nurse without hesitation. It was a constant reminder that I was a person too, and not just an all-you-can-eat buffet. And when I say “fun,” I truly mean it was quite annoying.
But I persevered, all for my daughter. People are quick to judge how we feed our children, whether it’s about the method or duration. They love to offer unsolicited opinions. Comments like, “If your child can drink from a cup or eat solid food, they don’t need to breastfeed anymore; it’s just for the mother,” are common.
Here’s why that perspective is flawed: My daughter could eat solid food, but she still needed breastfeeding for comfort and nutrition. Breast milk adjusts to meet the needs of a growing child, so there’s always value in providing it.
Ultimately, extended breastfeeding is a mutual choice. It involves not just the mother but also the child, who relies on breastfeeding for comfort, emotional regulation, and to cope with their feelings. While it can be tempting to say, “Enough already,” I always kept her needs in mind. The bond formed through breastfeeding is intricate; no one is forcing their child to nurse, which is a ludicrous notion.
Nursing a toddler was indeed challenging, but I remained committed because it was what my daughter needed. I have no regrets about my decision, though I do wish I had been more assertive in dismissing ignorant comments earlier.
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Summary
Extended breastfeeding is not just a personal choice for mothers; it’s a shared experience that meets the emotional and nutritional needs of growing children. While it comes with its challenges, including dealing with an active toddler, the benefits are significant. Mothers should feel empowered to make the choices that are best for their families, regardless of outside opinions.
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