It was a terrifying night etched into my memory. At just 7 years old, I witnessed the chaos unfold as police bombed a neighborhood in my hometown of Philadelphia, destroying homes and uprooting families. Flames engulfed an entire block, and fear gripped me as I worried about our own house being consumed by the fire.
At that tender age, I lacked the understanding of distance; the reality that I was miles away from danger was lost on me. All I felt was the panic of an unfolding tragedy. My parents, unaware of the emotional toll it was taking on me, kept the television on, fixated on the devastation. While that fire was a significant source of anxiety for my young mind, there were also numerous smaller worries that compounded my distress. My parents had little awareness of what was appropriate for a child to witness, and even now, over three decades later, I find myself grappling with the effects of those experiences.
Now, I have a 9-year-old daughter who is even more sensitive than I was at her age. She recoils at bad language and discussions about crime or violence, often covering her ears when the news plays in the background at her grandparents’ house. The uncertainty around political events, like when Trump was elected, left her in tears, fearing for her friends and our family.
Today’s children are increasingly aware of the world around them, often facing harsh realities that force them to grow up far too quickly. Take, for example, the students from Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School who, instead of enjoying milestone moments like prom and graduation, found themselves rallying for change after a harrowing school shooting. It’s a profound injustice that so many kids are robbed of their childhoods and forced to navigate such painful experiences.
I do talk to my daughter about current events, but I carefully manage how I introduce these topics. I seldom allow her to watch the news. Instead, I prefer to gently guide her understanding of the world. She’s still a child, my child, and I refuse to compromise her innocence for the sake of making her aware of the world too soon.
As an underpaid single mother, I was acutely aware from the beginning that there would be challenges I couldn’t shield my daughter from. This reality is especially pronounced for single Black mothers, as we often face systemic obstacles that impact our lives and those of our children. Since marrying my husband and gaining the support I’ve longed for, I’ve committed to being the protective barrier for my daughter that my parents couldn’t be for me.
The “let them be little” ethos often overlooks the experiences of Black children. A study from the Georgetown Law Center on Poverty and Inequality, titled “Girlhood Interrupted: The Erasure of Black Girls’ Childhood,” found that adults perceive Black girls as less innocent and more adult-like than their white counterparts, especially between the ages of 5 to 14. This has significant implications for how their childhoods are often respected or disregarded.
I adamantly reject this narrative. I will allow my daughter to enjoy her childhood for as long as she desires. We can have conversations about safety without instilling fear or subjecting her to distressing imagery. Stressing her out at the age of 9, under the guise of protection, is not something I’m willing to do.
In fact, research from the University of Wisconsin–Madison indicates that early-life stress can lead to psychiatric disorders later in life, suggesting that children who experience stress may grow into adults with anxiety and mental health issues. Why would I want to subject my child to that if I can help it?
The world is filled with chaos and tragedy, and while it’s inevitable that darkness will touch our lives at some point, I intend to shield my daughter for as long as possible. I want her to relish her childhood and embrace the moments of innocence while she still can.
For those exploring parenthood, you might find useful information about at-home insemination kits, such as the ones from Cryobaby or the BabyMaker, which are excellent resources. Additionally, for anyone interested in the success rates of these methods, WebMD provides valuable insights.
In summary, I choose to protect my daughter from the harsh realities of the world for as long as I can. Childhood should be a time of innocence, free from the burdens of adult concerns, and it’s my responsibility to safeguard that precious time.
Leave a Reply