As you step into your teenage years, the world around you is evolving, and so are you. Reflecting on my own adolescence, I navigated through those years with a mix of uncertainty and guidance from well-meaning adults. Often, their advice felt restrictive or outdated: “Be a good girl.” “Stay away from boys.” “Don’t pout.” “Wait until marriage to have sex.” “Obey your parents.” “Just drink your Ovaltine.” Just kidding! I was more into Black Cherry Kool-Aid and Capri Suns back in the ’80s.
While I understood the intention behind their words, I longed for deeper explanations. When I asked “why,” the typical response was simply, “Because I said so.” As a lifelong writer, I crave understanding and meaning. If I had taken all that advice to heart, my life would have been much more conventional and frankly, boring. Here are some essential lessons I’ve learned that I wish I had grasped sooner. If I could impart any wisdom to you, it would be to embrace these truths wholeheartedly.
Embrace Self-Love
We often become so preoccupied with others that we lose sight of ourselves. Focus on your own dreams and happiness, and everything else will eventually align. Remember, don’t speak negatively to yourself. “Feed the positive, starve the negative.” Negative thoughts can spread quickly and dim your spirit. Always treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a dear friend. People will mirror how you treat yourself; if you show self-compassion, others will follow suit. My mom used to say, “No matter what happens, hold your head high.” You’ll encounter failures and setbacks, but you’ll get back on your feet, often being your own strongest advocate. And when you need support, don’t hesitate to ask for help.
Stop Seeking Approval from Others
This is a futile endeavor. No matter what you do, you can’t please everyone. Happiness comes from within, and you are not responsible for anyone else’s joy. One day, you might find yourself questioning why others don’t try to please you as much as you do them. It can lead to frustration and bitterness. Prioritize your well-being above all else. This doesn’t mean being selfish but rather nurturing your spirit and seeking internal validation rather than external.
Stand Up for Yourself and Your Beliefs
Never shy away from expressing your thoughts on important issues. The world can be loud, and many will attempt to drown out your voice. Remember, your perspective is just as valuable as anyone else’s. Stay informed about politics and social justice, as your values will influence your relationships and shape who you are. Don’t let others silence you; your voice matters.
Trust Your Instincts
Your body often reacts to situations that feel wrong. Pay attention to those feelings; they are your instincts trying to protect you. If you’re unsure about what you’re feeling, take time to reflect. Ignoring those instincts may lead you down a risky path. Your heart may want to argue, but trust your head and gut. And if you’re ever in doubt, remember I’m here to help.
Support Other Women
The times I’ve felt the lowest about myself were when I was critical of other women. It’s easy to fall into jealousy, but remember that everyone has their struggles. If you could swap places with someone, would you really want to? Each journey is unique and beautiful in its own way. When you uplift other women, that positivity circulates and comes back to you. If you find yourself struggling to accept someone else, ask why. Is it insecurity? Instead of comparing, remind yourself that your path is yours alone.
You Are Enough
Above all, hold on to this truth: you are enough. Resist the urge to label yourself as “too this” or “not enough that.” That mindset breeds unhappiness. Let your inner light shine, regardless of what others are doing. Their challenges are theirs to face, not for you to carry. You have so much to offer the world, so protect your light. Set boundaries to safeguard your energy. Trust your instincts, and keep shining brightly!
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Summary:
This letter to my teenage daughter shares invaluable insights and life lessons I wish I had received during my own adolescence. It emphasizes the importance of self-love, the futility of seeking external validation, the necessity of standing up for one’s beliefs, trusting one’s instincts, supporting other women, and recognizing one’s worth. By embracing these principles, she can navigate her teenage years with confidence and resilience.
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