When my little ones were babies and toddlers, I spent a considerable amount of time worrying about their sleep patterns. Honestly, it often felt like I was dealing with the worst sleepers imaginable. My first child took ages to settle down each night—about 45 minutes of bouncing, nursing, and rocking were required just to get him to sleep. And even then, he frequently woke up during the night, continuing this trend until he was four.
My second child was a breeze to put to bed, but he had a peculiar knack for being wide awake for hours in the middle of the night. I’d find him sitting up at 3 a.m., staring blankly into the darkness. He also didn’t sleep through the night until he was around four years old.
Initially, I kept my children’s poor sleeping habits to myself. I knew they were healthy and thriving, but I was anxious about being judged by other parents who might blame me for “bad sleep habits” or assume I was raising children who couldn’t sleep. However, when I finally opened up to fellow parents, it was a relief to discover I wasn’t alone. Many of them had similarly troublesome sleepers, and I began to understand that this was simply a common experience—some babies just don’t sleep well, and perhaps that’s perfectly normal.
I stumbled upon research that supported this notion, though most studies were small and didn’t focus specifically on the extreme cases that many of us were dealing with. That’s why I was thrilled to discover a new study that examined a substantial group of children and confirmed that poor sleep is entirely typical for the first two years of life.
Conducted in Finland, the study published in Sleep Medicine analyzed the sleep patterns of over 5,700 kids. It revealed that it’s quite normal for babies and toddlers to take a while to fall asleep and to wake up during the night. For instance, six-month-olds typically take about 20 minutes to drift off, and most toddlers still wake up at least once a night until they’re around two years old. So, the expectation that babies should sleep through the night by six months is, frankly, unrealistic.
The researchers noted significant variability in sleep patterns among children. Dr. Emily Thompson, the lead author of the study, pointed out that sleep behaviors—such as falling asleep, waking up, and nighttime awakenings—develop at different rates. A common worry among parents is the fear of doing something wrong regarding sleep or thinking there’s an issue with their child’s sleep habits. In fact, the study found that nearly 40% of parents with eight-month-olds were concerned about their babies’ sleep, which is completely relatable.
If you’re worried about your little one’s sleep, it’s always a good idea to consult your pediatrician. However, as long as your child is growing well and hitting developmental milestones, it’s likely that their sleep patterns are just part of their unique makeup. Dr. Lisa Martinez, a sleep expert at the University of Alberta, emphasizes the importance of monitoring growth as a health indicator. When development is on track, what seems like a “sleep issue” might simply be how your baby is wired to sleep.
While knowing that your child’s sleep is normal can be comforting, it doesn’t change the fact that managing a sleepless infant is exhausting. Everyone copes differently; for me, it meant adjusting my expectations, seeking support, and relying on coffee to get through the day. The struggle is undeniably real, and there’s no shame in doing whatever you need to survive if you have a particularly troublesome sleeper.
Just remember, understanding that your child’s sleep patterns are normal—and that it’s not your fault—can provide the reassurance you need during this challenging phase. It really does get better eventually.
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Summary:
Many parents worry about their children’s sleep patterns, but a recent study shows that poor sleep is a common experience for infants and toddlers. It’s essential to recognize that individual sleep behaviors vary widely and that most sleep issues in young children are perfectly normal. If there are concerns, it’s advisable to consult with a pediatrician, but overall, if a child is growing and developing well, their sleep habits may just be part of their unique makeup.
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