Yes, you absolutely have time.
As a mom gearing up to welcome my sixth child, I totally understand when you say you long to embark on a new project or chase a goal but feel overwhelmed by your busy life. We all struggle to find that time. Recently, I completed writing a book, and the first question from my friends was, “How on earth did you manage that?”
It’s a valid question. Alongside being pregnant and caring for five children, I also operate a wedding planning business. My partner works full-time as a financial advisor, and we’ve chosen to enroll our kids in an exhausting number of sports and activities.
So, how does someone with my schedule squeeze in something as demanding as writing a book? Here’s the secret: I didn’t. It was simply impossible, so I did something that might seem radical to many moms. I began removing other tasks from my to-do list to create space for my writing. My incredibly supportive partner took on some of those responsibilities, while I let go of others, like my appearance.
At home, I took a break from hosting visitors, which meant skipping out on cleaning. I exercised less, wore increasingly mismatched outfits as laundry piled up, and dinner became a chaotic mix of whatever frozen food I could find. Instead of engaging in activities like making sensory boxes or practicing reading with my five-year-olds, I took them to indoor play areas while I stared at my laptop.
It felt terrible. I grappled with feelings of being a bad mother, a neglectful partner, and a distant friend, all while my house resembled a health hazard. But after a couple of months, I was suddenly an author. My book was in the editing phase, and I could finally return to my family. My appearance improved, and our living space got a much-needed deep clean. Surprisingly, no one seemed to notice the chaos that preceded my success.
The questions about how I accomplished it seemed bewildering at first. Wasn’t it obvious that I had looked like a disheveled mess? My kids had gone pale from too many takeout meals! But apparently, no one was judging me as harshly as I was judging myself. The first time my kids noticed my absence was only when I returned to cooking wholesome meals instead of the easy options they had grown accustomed to—and they weren’t thrilled.
To all the moms out there, I want you to know that you can achieve anything you set your mind to—you just can’t do everything at once. Importantly, taking time for your dreams isn’t selfish; it’s a valuable lesson for your kids. They will learn more from your pursuit of goals, even if you stumble, than from adhering to a Pinterest-perfect standard.
Do you want them to feel empowered to chase their dreams as adults? Or would you prefer them to think they should stifle their passions for the sake of a spotless home? Let them witness your journey. Let them see you thrive, prioritize your passions, and embrace the messiness of life.
If you have a dream—and I certainly hope you do—here are my top 7 strategies for carving out time to pursue it:
- Block Off Time
Take a look at your calendar and dedicate specific time slots to work on your project. Treat these blocks as sacred and non-negotiable. - Utilize Every Moment
Keep your laptop handy and take advantage of any spare moments throughout the day: while waiting at the doctor’s office, during car repairs, or at ballet class. - Listen While Driving
Audiobooks and podcasts are your friends! I absorbed material related to my book and motivating content during my commutes. - Set Deadlines
Find an accountability partner and commit to sending them progress reports on your tasks. I opted for a coach, but a good friend or family member works too. - Release Perfectionism
Channel your inner Elsa: let go of guilt, perfectionism, and self-doubt. This includes taking a break from chores and cooking—everyone will survive. - Treat Yourself
Acknowledge your hard work! Predefine milestones and reward yourself with something enjoyable when you achieve them—be it a pedicure, a sweet treat, or a glass of wine. - Keep Perspective
Remember, this is temporary. Once you reach your goal, you can return to your regular routine, whether that means taking back household duties or freeing up funds to hire help.
For more insights on balancing dreams and motherhood, check out this other blog post. Remember, the journey may be messy, but it’s worth it.
Summary
Pursuing your dreams while managing a busy life is challenging but achievable. Prioritize time for your goals, embrace imperfection, and recognize that it’s okay to take a step back from daily responsibilities. Your journey is not just about personal success; it’s a valuable lesson for your children too.
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