I find myself longing for the days when my kids had activities outside the house: a soccer practice, a birthday celebration, or even a simple study session at a café. I wish my husband could enjoy a round of golf. I long for more purpose than just perfecting my piano skills with “La La Land” songs, searching for family movies that everyone actually likes (a nearly impossible task), and cooking for the six of us stuck in this house together.
However, I also cherish the simplicity that comes with a blank calendar. Let’s be honest—how liberating was it to hit “delete event” for everything previously scheduled? It felt amazing, didn’t it? Now, our weekends are open, allowing for family dinners where everyone gathers around the table. There’s no frantic rush to finish homework or make it to a meeting; no one is arriving late to dinner.
We have time to relax, engage in conversations, and truly listen to one another, just like we would if we had guests over. The discussions we share are invaluable because they are the only meaningful exchanges we get. As parents, we often share memes and quotes about prioritizing quality time; now, we’re actually living that reality.
Despite being surrounded by my family during quarantine, I struggle to be fully engaged. My thoughts often drift, and I miss the structure that busyness provides. Yet, I also dread the thought of returning to that hectic lifestyle. I can’t fathom racing around again, juggling schedules.
I’ve heard the whispers from coaches and instructors about parents who shuttle their children from one activity to another: “It’s easier for a parent to let someone else handle their kid, entertain them, and manage conflicts.” An over-scheduled child barely has time to eat dinner at home, let alone engage in meaningful interactions.
Childhood anxiety is rising, and some experts believe that over-scheduling contributes to this issue. If you have a child with ADHD or a challenging temperament, you know the exhaustion that comes with it. Sometimes, we need a breather from our own kids to gain perspective. Simplifying schedules can lead to improvements in behavior associated with ADD/ADHD.
Child psychologist Emma Rivers, author of Simplicity Parenting, conducted a study that highlighted significant changes in children with ADD when their lives were simplified. Within a few months, 67% transitioned from clinically dysfunctional to functional, and 37% showed improvements in academic performance—all thanks to reducing their activities.
The pandemic offered a chance to pause the chaos. During quarantine, our children aren’t being whisked from one adult-led event to another. With adults juggling work from home, kids are learning to navigate challenges independently. As experts Lenore Skenazy and Peter Gray noted, “Kids are solving new problems and adapting because they have no choice.”
I miss casual acquaintances, the friendly banter with other parents at events, and the vibrant community life. As my friend Laura put it, “It’s strange how I can feel so isolated while craving alone time.” Our families can’t fulfill all our social needs.
I truly believe in the saying that “It Takes a Village” to raise a child, and I miss that village. Yet, I don’t miss the packed calendars and the constant rushing. If given the opportunity to return to the old normal, I’m uncertain if I would.
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Summary
Reflecting on the past year, I’ve come to appreciate the freedom of a less scheduled life. While I miss the hustle that once filled our calendars, the pause has allowed for deeper connections within my family. I recognize the importance of balance; while activities can enrich our lives, too much can lead to stress and anxiety.
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