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On February 26th, 2020, at 6:30 PM, my first child entered the world. Weighing in at 8 lbs 10 oz and measuring 22 inches, she marked the end of our long journey through infertility following a successful IVF frozen transfer. Growing up as one of five children in a single-parent household, the longing to embrace motherhood was intensified by our struggles with infertility.
The nine months leading up to the arrival of our little one were an emotional whirlwind. I still recall the moment during our 24-hour induction when the doctor delivered our baby girl, unintentionally breaking her clavicle in the rush to free her from the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck. The delivery room fell silent, and I will never forget the look of relief on my partner’s face when we finally heard her first, precious cry.
After a short hospital stay, we returned home, relieved and grateful, yet largely unscathed. Just as we began to adjust to life as a new family of three, Minnesota announced its first stay-at-home order. We quickly adapted to a new normal, mourning the absence of our loved ones who were unable to meet our long-awaited daughter. Instead, we found ourselves obsessively sanitizing groceries and sharing our various psychosomatic symptoms. During my 16-week maternity leave spent in quarantine, I often gazed at our baby, filled with awe and overwhelming emotion. Yet, the joy of new parenthood was often overshadowed by a deep sense of fear and uncertainty.
Each morning, I anxiously tuned in to Andrew Cuomo’s updates on COVID-19 and found myself captivated by Minnesota’s public health briefings. I felt a rush of hope when case numbers fell and frustration as they soared to alarming levels. There were moments when I was brought to tears, particularly when my pediatrician reassured me that “COVID hasn’t broken her,” after I expressed worry over delays in my daughter’s social development due to the lack of outings. I cried in the car afterward, realizing we were only at the beginning of this unprecedented pandemic. I grappled with feelings of guilt for mourning my maternity leave, knowing how fortunate I was to have paid time off, while also feeling isolated as a first-time mom navigating these uncharted waters.
It’s fair to say that COVID dominated my first year of parenting, but I’ve gradually come to terms with that reality. Our little one is healthy, and as my maternity leave comes to an end, I feel a newfound calmness after overcoming challenges I never anticipated. Our friends and family may not have been able to hold her close, but they love her as they love me, and that means everything.
The journey to welcome our daughter was fraught with uncertainties, much like our experience as new parents. While the challenges and fears were different, the love and hope that surrounded us remained steadfast. In reflecting on our path, I find solace in the knowledge that despite the unknowns, we have forged a strong bond as a family.
For more insights on navigating motherhood, check out our other blog post here. And if you’re looking for reputable resources on home insemination, Make a Mom is a great authority on the subject. Additionally, for those interested in fertility preservation, Cleveland Clinic’s podcast offers valuable information.
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- How to manage first-time motherhood during a pandemic
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Summary:
This article reflects on the experience of becoming a first-time parent during the COVID-19 pandemic, detailing the emotional highs and lows that come with it. From the excitement of welcoming a new baby to the challenges of isolation and uncertainty, the journey is filled with love and hope despite the obstacles faced.
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