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Anyone raising a teen knows that some conversations can feel like navigating a minefield. Every sensitive topic requires a thoughtful and compassionate approach, as the wrong words can shut down future discussions. This includes the essential topic of hygiene. While some teens might feel embarrassed, others might be more open. Some may want deodorants aimed at young adults, like “Gamer Fresh,” while others might have different preferences. As parents, it’s important to support their choices. When my son opted for “Classic Old Spice,” following in the footsteps of his grandfather, we made a beeline for the store—no detours (pun intended). I welcomed his decision to use deodorant, especially since discussing soap was another hurdle.
Most teenagers struggle to discuss changes in their bodies, and body hair is no exception. As parents, it can be challenging to approach this topic without overstepping. However, it’s necessary to recognize that their bodies belong to them. They are constantly learning how their bodies change and how they want to present themselves. We must provide them with the space to explore these feelings.
Reflect for a moment on your own teen years. Remember how a thoughtless comment about your appearance could linger for years? Comments like, “That’s a lot of makeup… you look clownish,” or “Girls shouldn’t have facial hair,” or even “Why not wear clothes that fit better?” Many of us have been on the receiving end of such remarks, and they can leave lasting impressions.
The American Psychological Association emphasizes that adolescents, despite their protests, need and want adult guidance. One way to show support is by allowing them autonomy over their own bodies, including their body hair. Every person matures differently, and it’s normal for some teenage boys to have full facial hair by thirteen, while some girls may have upper lip hair with no underarm hair. We should encourage our kids to embrace their unique bodies. Let’s normalize that body hair can grow in unexpected places, regardless of gender, and empower them to make choices about shaving or letting their natural hair grow.
If boys want to shave their bodies completely, that’s their choice. It does not imply anything about their identity, and if they are exploring their identity, that’s perfectly fine too. Similarly, if girls choose to let their leg or underarm hair grow, that’s entirely their decision. This is simply about body hair—let’s allow them the freedom to decide how they feel about it. If you have questions, approach them gently and avoid imposing your own body image issues onto them.
There are numerous guides available for parents to discuss shaving with their kids. If they decide to shave, support them in learning the right techniques and help them gather the necessary tools. In 2019, a young woman named Mia Thompson initiated an Instagram campaign called “HairyJanuary,” inspiring women to showcase their body hair. With thousands of posts, her movement encouraged body positivity and acceptance.
It’s important to recognize that your teen might not want to discuss body hair with you at all, and that’s completely acceptable. Invite them to talk whenever they feel comfortable but respect their autonomy and let them steer the conversation.
Let’s be honest, every conversation with a teen can be challenging. Yet, we should approach these discussions in the same way: manage your own emotions and create a safe space for them to share openly. Listen actively and share your experiences regarding body hair, even if they differ from theirs.
Above all, maintain an open mind. You don’t want the topic of body hair to lead to feelings of shame or judgment. It’s just body hair! If they choose to shave, it will grow back; if they choose to let it grow, they can always change their minds. It doesn’t have to be a significant issue unless we make it one.
Parents, remember—this is their body and their choice. Just as you have the right to decide what to do with your own body, give them the same opportunity.
For more insights on discussions related to body autonomy, check out this article on home insemination, or explore fertility information from Make A Mom. For a deeper understanding of pregnancy, you can also refer to this resource on in vitro fertilization.
Summary:
Having the ‘Body Hair Talk’ with your teen requires sensitivity and understanding. Encourage them to embrace their bodies and make choices about their body hair without judgment. Create a supportive environment for open discussions and respect their autonomy. Remember, it’s their body and their decision.
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