When my partner Alex and I planned our honeymoon two decades ago, we didn’t give much thought to our safety as a queer couple. We relied on the assumption that people would see us as just friends, a guise we adopted for our protection. Opting for an all-inclusive resort in Aruba, we aimed to enjoy a blend of beach relaxation and island excursions, alongside endless food and drink. Our concerns about safety were more about being women traveling together than openly identifying as a lesbian couple. Even after formalizing our union in Vermont—the first state to recognize same-sex partnerships—we remained largely in the closet, knowing that true acceptance was often reserved for spaces specifically catering to queer individuals.
While at home, I felt more confident being my authentic self than Alex, but during our vacation, I was disheartened when I learned that gay couples were excluded from participating in the nightly activities meant for newlyweds. I felt a deep anger at the hypocrisy of an establishment that welcomed my queer dollars while simultaneously denying my identity. Although my meals were included in the resort’s package, the essence of who I am was clearly not part of the experience. Genuine inclusivity for queer families is still a rarity in vacation settings.
Planning for a trip can be daunting, especially when children are involved. You must consider the essentials, from diapers to nightlights, only to inevitably make a last-minute stop at a store upon arrival. For queer families, especially those with transgender members or children, the travel preparations become even more complex and fraught with anxiety. Along with snacks, we need to consider medical plans and necessary documentation like marriage certificates, parental rights papers, and proof of identity—these were essential for us on our first trip abroad.
When it comes to restroom access, I often have to prepare for gendered facilities when gender-neutral options aren’t available, which can lead to uncomfortable stares or even threats. Navigating TSA security can also be a hassle, as discrepancies between my gender marker and my actual identity often lead to extra scrutiny. I frequently leave behind clothing that overtly expresses my queerness, as I want to minimize any potential confrontations.
While traveling, we diligently search for LGBTQIA+-friendly accommodations. Before booking a place for Alex and me, we often inquire about the atmosphere of the neighborhood and establish whether it’s a safe environment for our family. Only after ensuring our safety can we focus on enjoying the fun aspects of our vacation. While there are more welcoming destinations emerging, finding them can still be a challenge. A study by Orbitz revealed that 58% of queer travelers invest more time researching safe travel spots than their heterosexual counterparts, with many having canceled trips due to safety concerns related to their gender identity or sexuality. Resources like the International LGBTQ+ Travel Association (IGLTA) are invaluable in helping queer families navigate travel plans.
Despite the challenges, queer individuals and families deserve to explore any destination they choose. There are now more inclusive spaces, and we should be encouraged to invest our resources in environments that respect our identities. For additional insights, be sure to check out this related blog post, which offers more guidance for queer-friendly travel options.
In the coming articles, I’ll delve into queer-friendly beaches, all-inclusive resorts perfect for LGBTQIA+ families, and travel tips for transgender individuals. So, get ready to pack your bags and those fabulous pride t-shirts—adventure awaits!
Summary
: Vacationing as a queer family comes with unique challenges, from safety concerns to the complexities of travel preparation. Despite the progress made in creating inclusive spaces, many queer families still face hurdles when planning trips. By actively seeking LGBTQIA+-friendly accommodations and resources, families can enjoy their time away while prioritizing their safety and comfort.
Leave a Reply