Traveling with toddlers can be a wild ride, and let’s face it, school-age kids can be just as challenging. The idea of “waiting until they’re old enough to truly enjoy” travel is often a laughable notion.
I’ve traveled extensively with my little ones, taking vacations during maternity leaves to satisfy my wanderlust. I would often hear friends say, as I navigated Disney World with both a baby and a toddler, “I’ll wait until my kids are older.” I totally understand where they’re coming from. But as an avid traveler, I made it a point to take my kids on trips every year of their lives. We didn’t just do our annual Disney trips (judge if you must); we also took road trips to visit grandparents and flew across the country, including a memorable journey to Australia. Whether it’s a short two-hour flight or a grueling 17-hour trek, managing travel with kids relies heavily on snacks and screen time.
No travel challenge ever defeated me—be it zombie-walking through a Stockholm hotel with a jet-lagged 1-year-old or coaxing my toddler to budge from a snowman in Vermont. I thought I had it all figured out, until my teenage kids, supposedly “old enough to appreciate” travel, turned into complete brats during an amazing trip to Europe.
While in Dublin, after visiting historical sites and even spotting a rainbow, my kids declared they were done and wanted to retreat to the hotel. I lost my cool, feeling they were ungrateful. “How often are we in Dublin? And you want to spend the evening in a hotel on your phone?” I dragged them to dinner, but my son wouldn’t eat, and we all returned to the hotel in a huff.
In retrospect, I realized that teens, just like toddlers, enjoy the comforts of a hotel, especially if there’s a pool involved. That’s where they’d prefer to be, regardless of whether we’re in Dublin or Detroit. I also recognized that my desire for a nice dinner and a glass of wine clashed with their interests. If I could rewind time, I’d have taken them back to the hotel for burgers and gone to that nice dinner with just my husband.
A revelation hit me three years later: despite their complaints, my kids fondly remember that trip. When they reminisce about loving Ireland, my husband and I exchange puzzled looks, as we recall their disinterest. My son once mentioned how “cool” Trinity College was, while I scrolled through photos of him looking completely bored. Yet, he recalls it as a fantastic experience.
I recently used this insight to comfort a friend whose teen was acting out on a long-awaited family vacation. “Just wait,” I told her. “He’ll remember this differently.”
As I prepared for yet another trip to the UK with my grumpy son (this time, sans daughter), I decided to let him take the lead. If he wanted to nap (which was quite often), I let him. When he preferred to stay in the hotel with his laptop, I allowed it. Surprisingly, he sometimes joined me on walks. I let him lead our excursions, which often looked like him striding ahead as if I were a stranger. We ended up sharing some laughs, especially when he dubbed Nottingham Castle “trash.” I learned that laughing with my teen can be far more enjoyable than insisting he express gratitude.
Now, I realize my kids appreciate every trip we’ve taken, even if neither will explicitly say, “Thanks for investing time and money into our experiences.” I never voiced such gratitude to my own mother at sixteen. It’s only now, as an adult traveling with her, that I can articulate my appreciation without the teenage instinct to complain.
I adore babies and understand that a hotel fountain can be the highlight of their trip. I enjoy my nieces, ages 6 and 8, who excitedly drag me to playgrounds wherever we go. And I now appreciate my 16-year-old son’s insights, like pointing out that the British Museum contains items “stolen” by the British. His sense of appreciation exists, just not in the form of traditional gratitude. As he snaps photos to share with friends, I know the appreciation is there. Creating new memories with your children is always worthwhile.
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Summary:
Traveling with children can be both chaotic and rewarding. While many parents hesitate to travel with little ones, the experiences, memories, and even the challenges can lead to fond recollections later on. Whether navigating toddler tantrums or teenage indifference, embracing the journey and sharing laughter can make family trips memorable.
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