A few weeks ago, I took my kids to a football game, thinking it would be a great opportunity for family bonding. My kids, aged 11, 12, and 13, were super excited to see their friends. But guess what? Instead of enjoying the game, my two older kids were glued to their phones the entire time, just like their friends. It was disheartening to see them completely disengaged from the fun around them.
We often talk about how technology is impacting our kids’ lives and how they seem to be missing out on genuine connections and experiences. It’s a topic we’re all a bit tired of discussing, yet here I am, feeling like I’m losing my mind over it.
I’m not referring to the occasional use of devices to keep younger kids entertained at a restaurant; I’m talking about the overwhelming access that our teens have to their smartphones. It seems like every time we go out—movies, hikes, family visits—every child has their phone as a must-have accessory. If I ask my kids to leave theirs at home, they feel like “losers.”
On school nights, I enforce a phone curfew of 8:30 p.m., which I believe is pretty reasonable. It allows them to wind down, brush their teeth, and maybe even read a book. Yet they often complain that their friends can stay on their phones much later. Whether that’s true or not, I stick to my rules because I’ve noticed troubling behaviors tied to their screen time—mood swings, anxiety, and even tears when I ask them to unplug. It’s not just typical whining; it’s concerning.
Jean Twenge, a psychology professor at San Diego State University, has studied these generational shifts for years. In an interview with The Atlantic, she pointed out that since 2012, when smartphone ownership surged, rates of teen depression and suicide have dramatically increased. She suggests that this generation is facing a mental health crisis largely linked to their phones.
I never imagined that allowing my kids to have smartphones would lead to such negative consequences. But I’m starting to realize that they can’t be trusted to manage their usage responsibly. Until they prove they can, I’m going to be the strict mom.
Since I started limiting their phone time, I’ve noticed positive changes. They’re outside more, riding bikes, playing board games, and actually laughing together. I’d rather be seen as the “uncool mom” than risk their emotional well-being for the sake of feeling included.
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In summary, while smartphones have become an integral part of our teens’ lives, they also pose challenges that we must address. As parents, we need to set boundaries and encourage more face-to-face interactions to promote healthier emotional well-being.
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